Chapter 15: The songs I choose getting over you help me make it out alive
***** 5 years before *****
I watched my little brother stand in the doorway, tears running down his face. He was 13, and one of the toughest boys I've ever met, but this was clearly too much for him. I understood, though. He was watching our parents practically divorce one another right before his eyes.
It was July, 2008.
My mom had suddenly taken on drinking. She had never once drunk a drop of the stuff in her life; not until now. None of us could figure out why. Why NOW?
She'd come stumbling home at night, one or two in the morning, yelling everything running through her mind. Me and my brothers tried our best to ignore it all, pretend none of it was happening. But we could only block out so much.
"I want a divorce."
Those four words are words I never thought I'd get over. After my mom left, those words rang in my ears for months. I never forgave my mom, and quite frankly, I'm not sure that I ever will.
They fought all the time; it felt like history repeated itself every night. The screaming, the words, the actions. None of them ever left my mind.
I swam and I sang and that's all I did. That was the one time in my life I didn't want to be surrounded by my family and friends. I let myself fall into something dark, and looking back, I'm ashamed. Because I LET myself do it. I LET myself fall into darkness. But now I know if I hadn't, one of the best songs I've ever written would never exist.
I walked over to Jake, rushing him out of the room before he saw anything he shouldn't. I stopped him in the hallway, wiping away his tears as he stood sniffling. His bright blue eyes looked up at me with the innocence I had never seen in him before, the innocence he would usually never dare show. But I knew he was scared, and I would always be there for him, wherever it was he needed me to be.
************
HUNTER'S P.O.V.
"And this...is where I learned how to swim."
She pushed opened the glass doors to the pool, suddenly turning quiet.
I knew why. This was HER place. Her second home, her holy ground.
She and I made our way to the edge of the pool, crouching down to brush our hands over the surface of the cool water.
The pool was pretty large. Not Olympic big, but long enough to fit about 10 lane lines, big enough for some pretty intense training.
"I wish...." She stopped mid sentence.
"You wish?"
She sighed, looking down at the water. "I wish that my injury never happened. I love music but...sometimes I wonder...is my dad right? SHOULD I be swimming again?" She turned her head to me, eyes becoming the slightest bit wet. I had never seen her so...sad looking. So longing for something. Not even yesterday when we were in her backyard.
"Is that what you want?"
"Sometimes I feel like that's what I need. I just...I haven't done it for so long."
"Today's never too late, is it?"
"You're right."
She abruptly stood, leaving me crouching alone. I suddenly felt her wet hands on my shoulders, and before I knew it I was falling into the water, head first, t shirt shirt, jeans, converse and all. She crouched again at the edge, laughter pouring from her mouth.
