Slow Dancing in a Burning Room | Toby McDonough of Before You Exit fanfic

III

The day passed by fairly quickly. During lunch hour, 5th period, I switched things up a bit. I ate my lunch as fast as I could without looking like a starved animal, and I headed to the quad. I sat underneath a tree by myself with a book. I wasn't really reading, I was actually thinking about all that happened with Toby this morning.

I was beginning to think he was just pretending, but then again not once have I seen such a genuine smile strike his lips before.

"Mind if I join you?"a familiar voice asked

I looked up to find, of course, Toby. Politely, I patted the ground on my left side and he sat down. I closed my book and placed it under my bent knees.

"About earlier,"he began to say

Of course. I knew it was too good to be true. He was faking the whole time!

"You don't have to say it Toby, you were faking everything, weren't you?"I choked

"No! No, not at all! I was going to thank you. I've never let anyone see that side of me before, and it honestly felt amazing to let it past my ass of an ego. I feel so much better knowing that someone knows me."he explained

"Oh.."a wave of stupidity smacked me upside the head, "I'm sorry about that then. I honestly don't know what to expect you to say at this point."I laughed nervously

"It's fine. I can't just let everyone else see what you see though. Well not yet at least...I really don't want to just pull the fake card on everybody so early."he said resting his hand on top of mine on the ground

Something about Toby was making me feel like something wasn't right. It was the kiss, it was the arms around each other, it was the kiss on the cheek, it's our hands right now. It was almost as if we were pushing ourselves into something we weren't aware of;something we didn't seem ready for. But then again, I knew nothing between us would be definite. I always hear from adults that when you're a teenager and young adult you're mean to experiment with love, that nothing should be permanent until the time is right. Toby and I were just an experiment, and I just have to see wherever we go with it. I want to trust him, but I want to be positive I can.

I slowly removed my hand from under his and placed it in my lap.

"Okay, I get what's going through your head right now."Toby said turning to face me

I looked at him

"You're thinking what someone probably told you. Your mom, a friend, an aunt, a cousin, someone along the line told you that when a guy first kisses you that you're going to think you're in love with him. Someone told you that when a guy tells you he loves you, you're not going to want to think about it and say 'I love you' back. Someone told you that the same guy who did those things is gonna have sex with you, and then he's gonna run off and tell everyone how easy you are, and then he doesn't want to be in your life anymore and you'll be left not only broke hearted by humiliated. Am I right?"he asked

I nodded, "But that isn't just it. I feel like we're rushing ourselves into something that we don't even realize we're turning into. Do you even know what we are right now, Toby? Do you know anyone who kisses their friend? Do you know anyone who sexts their friend? Do you know anyone who puts their arm around their friend and tells her he likes her? And on top of it keeps it all secretive? What are we? Are we friends with benefits, is this what this is turning into?"

"I'm gonna tell you right now what we are."he said

I sat there, waiting for an answer. He looked to his left and to his right, and then he looked at me. 

"There are at least twenty people around us right now that at any given moment could look at us."he said

"And?"I shrugged

Where was he going with this? Was he embarrassed to be seen with me? Was he afraid one of his jackass friends would find out he was with someone like me? What could it possibly be?

Just then, he placed his lips against mine, kissing me. He had a firm grip on my waist, not allowing me to move away.

"We're more than friends, but we aren't friends with benefits. I don't want to rush into anything serious if you're uncomfortable right now."he said

I was angry, but then I wasn't at the same time. I got a partial answer, but still didn't know what we definitely were. 

"We'll figure it out during gym, okay? We're only on the track today and the teachers won't be paying attention really."he said standing up as the bell rang.

I stood up as well, grabbing my book and heading off to my 6th period class. I had gym 7th period, so I only had to sit through 42 minutes of torture until I got a better answer. Class seemed to never end, I was practically drowning in topics we'd be covering over the course of the semester. The list seemed to never end, but by the time we were almost through the list, the bell finally rang. I shoved my textbooks into my locker and almost ran for gym. Lucky me, I was on the second of four floors, and gym was on the ground floor. By the time I got to the first floor, I was almost out of energy, but I only had one flight of stairs and a few hallways left. As I finally approached the locker room door, I could hear the eruptions of laughter and shouting from the boys locker room down the hall not very far away. I quickly changed into the boring uniform of a gray t-shirt and yellow shorts, then heading out to the field. If didn't take very long for everyone to get out on the field.

By the time the teachers started class, most of the guys were either running on the track or tossing a football around, most girls were either walking the track or hiding in the bathroom underneath the bleachers to avoid physical activity whatsoever, and then there was me, awkwardly pacing around in a circle waiting for Toby to show up. Eventually, he appeared behind the back of the bleachers peering past the brick wall. I ran over as fast as I could without looking suspicious or getting any unwanted attention.

"Hey."Toby smiled, leaning against the wall

"Hi."I returned the smile, walking up to him

"I want to finish what I started before."he said

"Okay, what does that mean?"I asked

He gently pushed me against the walk and his lips attacked mine.

"Is that okay?"he asked

Remember Josie, experiment. It won't hurt you.

I nodded, kissing him back. Eventually we ended up under the bleachers since the wall behind was pretty rough. We ended up sitting on one of the piles of gymnastics mats. Each kiss sent a rush through my body, I could almost feel the blood pulsing through my veins, every inch of my body screaming for him. His hand began to inch up my stomach under my shirt, and I caught him when he was just below my breasts.

"Should I stop?"he asked between breaths, kissing my neck

"Do anything, the bra and underwear stay on."I whispered

I could feel the smirk creeping on his face. His lips returning to mine as he snaked his hand underneath my bra, cupping my breast.

"You sneaky little bastard."I chuckled into the kiss

We began to slow things down when we thought it was getting towards the end of the period, so we ended up just kissing again. When the period ended, we fixed ourselves and ran out trying to look as normal as possible. After that, there was no way I would survive 8th period waiting to see him 9th. But when it came around, I was displeased to remember that we had to pretend we hated each other again.

As I took my seat, class began and the teacher drifted off to her own little wonderland.

Toby slowly ran his hand up the inside of my thigh and whispered in my ear, "That was just the beginning." Adding a wink.

Also, I would like to take a moment to remember Cory Monteith, as he had passed away yesterday. His death deeply saddens me, and I send my thoughts out to his family, his fiance Ms. Lea Michele, his cast family on Glee, friends, and fans. What a wonderful influence he has made on lives xx