Slow Dancing in a Burning Room | Toby McDonough of Before You Exit fanfic

IV

Walking home from school was no fun-I wanted to cry but at the same time I wanted to jump in front of a truck. How could I let that happen? Why did I let my guard down around Toby that easily?

"Hey! You didn't wait for me."Toby laughed, walking up from behind me

Because I didn't want to.

He put his arm around my shoulders and I looked opposite his direction.

"What's wrong?"he asked

I was hesitant with answering him, "Us Toby. Every single thing that has happened in the past 48 hours. Last period, to walking home, to the kiss, to the texts which on your end weren't so nice, to this morning, to lunch, to gym, to what you did and said literally a half hour ago, to now. You didn't even answer me. What are we? Am I just your little sex toy you're playing mind games with? Because it sure seems like it at this point. You said you wanted to 'know me better' but I didn't take it as you shoving your hands up under my shirt behind the bleachers."

"I'm sorry. I can't handle being around you all calm most of the time. When I see you I just get this rush and I do things I don't mean to. Like last night I didn't even have to see you, I was just thinking about you and it happened. I'm sorry, okay?"he explained

"But still, what are we? Cause that's the answer I've been looking for since this morning."I asked, yet again

"I don't know, that's honestly something we have to figure out together."he said

I turned my head to face him, "So what does that mean?"

He took a deep breath, stopped walking, and stood in front of me.

"I want to be with you, but I can't. Because if I'm with you, I'll start to change. People will begin to see what you've only seen and not only is that gonna cause me grief, but you as well. You don't understand how much I want you."he wrapped his arms around my waist

"Yeah, I get it at this point. You just 'want' me."I pushed him off of me and began to walk away

"I want you to be mine. I want to look at you and when I smile you smile back, knowing we're thinking the same thing. I want to see you walk down the hallway and when I start blushing and my friends ask why I can point you out and say 'Thats my girlfriend'. I want to be able to tell you how much you drive my crazy in the best way. I want to be able to call you in the middle of the night just so I can hear your voice. I want to be able to say you made me fall in love with you because that's just it-you're you."he said as I continued to walk

I wasn't going to just stop walking, turn around, and throw myself at him like most girls would have. I kept walking, thinking about what he said. Did he mean it? Or was he just playing again? I wasn't going to let myself fall into the same trap with him again. Let him play the 'I really like you' card and next thing he's down my pants? Hell no!

"Josie,"he caught up to me, placing his hand on my lower back

"I really don't know Toby, I can't tell if you're lying or not. I want you to tell me the complete truth and I honestly have no clue if I will ever get that."I removed his hand from my back

"I'm telling the truth. What's it gonna take for you to believe me?"he asked

"The Toby you show me is the Toby I want from now on. At all times."I shrugged

"I don't want you to get hurt."he refused

I stopped walking, as we came to my house. We stood there facing each other in silence for several minutes.

And there it was again, that same little twinkle in his eyes. Warm goosebumps trailed up my spine, spreading across my body.

I stood up on my toes, pulled the collar of his jacket, and softly kissed him.