Order of the Sphinx... Why should HP get to have all the fun?

Chapter 17: The Voice of God.

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A Charming British billionare does.

I make no money from this venture; If I did, I wouldn't be doing this at all, i'd be drinking banana daquari's by the pool with a hot Russian Pool guy fanning me with a giant leaf.

Chapter 17: The Voice of God

I detested Occulmency.

Hell, I detested every single part of the phrase “controlling the mind.” I had even developed strange habitual tendencies when someone even mentioned the phrase “Controlling the mind.” When poor old Trelawney said it I screeched and set the tablecloth on fire and stalked out of the room with ash singing my robes.  I also hated the words; tutoring, wall, mental, shield, potions, Voldemort, concentrate, discipline, pathetic and again.

Why?

I’ll tell you why! It seemed that they were the favourite words in Snape’s vocabulary and he liked to repeatedly shout a few of them at me every chance he could. His favourite word was concentrate. I lost track of how many times he would glare at me, point his wand at my forehead and yell “CONCENTRATE!”

I was tempted to buy him a thesaurus for his birthday.

 When I came back to the common room one afternoon, desperately wishing I could hex the bastard to another dimension, preferably one he couldn’t come back from, I was greeted to the sight of a forlorn looking Will and Colin. I flopped down in one of the arm chairs, looking at them suspiciously. “Uh, hey guys,” I said carefully, watching as they looked up at me, gave me guilty expressions then went back to writing.

I tried to have a look at what they were writing but I couldn’t see from that far away. “What are you doing?” I asked, when it was clear I wouldn’t get a response. Colin flinched but didn’t answer, Will spoke up. “Colin and I got caught red handed pulling a prank from the list.” He began and paused, rubbing the back of his neck.

The List? I thought baffled, then my eyes flicked to the wall and I got it. Oh! The List. Yeah, it gets capitals, that’s how important it is.

Will continued on, oblivious of my internal monologue. “Yeah, well. McGonagall caught us and was furious. I swear she was going to bite our heads off. She gave us a month’s worth of detentions and we had to write an apology letter to every fifth year student.” He said chagrined. I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped.

“What did you do?” I asked between laughs. Colin perked up. “We told every student in fifth year that Professor Dumbledore had told us that every answer on the OWLs is 42.” He said with a grin. I laughed and gave them high fives. “Nice.” I said with a chuckle. Will and Colin laughed too, and then sobered. “Well, it would have been if we didn’t get punished for it.” Colin muttered and pouted at his pile of letters.

I rolled my eyes. “What, are the fabulous five losing their touch?” I teased, getting the reaction I was expecting. Will gave me a glare. “NO!” he growled, standing up and walking over to the list of achievements. Turning around, Will put on an imitation of Professor Snape. “If I could draw your attention to the list.” He droned in a perfect imitation of Snape. I went into hysterics, clutching my sides and roaring with laughter.

A brief smile betrayed him as he pulled on a sneer and threw a random sock at me. “Shut up you insolent brat!” He barked which only made me laugh harder. When I calmed down he continued. “As I was saying.” Will said with a scowl, giving me a ‘Snape’ glare as I clapped a hand over my mouth to stop the giggles, “The fabulous five have completed a range of different pranks, however you-“ Will said pointing an accusing finger at me as he gave me his  best Snape scowl, “Have done nothing MacKay.”