Magic (Larry Stylinson)✔️

2.3

Harry:

I know I said to Louis I was okay, but honestly the voices in my head are just getting louder. They never stop and all I really want is for them to shut the fuck up so I can focus on me, on my life... on getting better!

I look in the mirror and all I see is all the wrongs, every single part of me that I find wrong is just there showing. I hate every single part of myself, I do not understand what Louis sees in me, how can he call me beautiful when I am a ugly piece of shit?

Why do you keep putting yourself through this? Why don't you end this once and for all? Why don't you finish what you started? You will never be good enough!

I try so hard to keep the voices out of my head but they never leave. Just when I start to feel happy they are there reminding me of how I will never be perfect. No one will ever love me, no one will ever understand!

"Babe, are you ready to go?" I look up at Louis who is standing in the doorway I give him a weak smile but I do not think he notice that it's really fake... maybe he doesn't care as much as he says he does. I just want to disappear.

"Yeah, just give me a sec to find a beanie" I say and he nods while looking at me. I take my dark red beanie and follow him out of my room. I have been spending a lot of time with Louis because I feel like I can be happy with him.

"You look really pretty today" I do not understand how he can think that! I'm not even sure if we are talking about me, because damn I do not look pretty today, if one of us looks pretty then it's him, because he looks like a freaking God!

"You look really good Louis" I say, I do not want to answer him because damn I really don't agree with him that I look pretty today. I know he probably thinks I do but it's just not the truth, I am pretty sure he must be blind or something.

Something with Louis must be wrong because he picked me over everyone else, and then something must be really wrong!

"So what should we do today? Do you want to do something special?" He asks me and gives me one of his famous smiles. He looks so freaking pretty when he smiles! Why can't I be as pretty as him when I smile?

"I don't know, I don't really mind what we do as long as it is with you" I say and look at him. I know he will leave me so I can now spend as much time as possible before he leaves me. I do not want him to leave me but it's probably going to happen!

I don't want to live in a world where I can't have Louis... I don't want to live in a world where the voices in my head are clouding my mind....

I don't want to live in this world anymore... I don't want to live anymore.

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I will be updating this every single friday!