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Chpler To

AN: helu fangs 4 redin mah stori but if u flam ur a PRRRREEEEEEEPPPPP!111111 fangs 2 karin + 4 da help wit da chapta n saatsin U ROK BICHEZZZZZ!!1111 I LUV MCR!111111111. dnot flam or uz a FUKIN POSR PREP so FUK U.

( i like BOOBZ).

We Pete Wentz don tu da  gret hal. "omg itz trash!11111" preliminaried B'readstick Purse

OMGGG Trash is mah biggest crush eva!1! he haz blud red hiar and iz bi just leik meee and is also a suciedal emo 2!!! His nam was Darco but hiz perents dyed so he changd his nam and coverts to satinism. HE IZ SO SMEXXY lol

"hey egeny" he sed

"hey trashcan i replyed sexily and cryed teers of blued.

"lol u totley lik him, dnot u??!1" B'redstik ejected emoly

"nu  i dnot u POSR" i sed angerly. 

Trash loked sad. "lol jk i sed" flirtly. "u no mcr r doin a consrt in hogsmeed (AN: mcr r wizurdz!111111 FUK U PRPZ!1) do u wentz 2 cum wit mi" he sed all deprezed. "ya" i yakked.

wen we got 2 da concertina, i wiz all shakey n depreeseed wit nurvz bc i likked trash a lot. senzititvee bi guys r jus SOOOOO hot an i likekd seeing hmi cri al depressez n senxisitive. n bi. im nut fetishiZing queer boyz THO lol wat r u talkin abot?

weel, anywentz i wuz werring a shrot blak goffik dress daat shoqwed off mah figur rellly well wiy lacye bitz an red corets stufff all on teh front nd bak. i had mah hRAr all on tup off mah hed in a goftik styles (AN: lol geddit lik harry stylez omg i luv him sooooo much!!1111!!!11 hes lik the hotest guy eva apart frm gerad way). i had collurd contactZ in 2 make mah eyes look al red an gothdick. i ws lookin rlly sexi (i can tell bc I'm bi 2) an wuz soopa confidant dat trash wold fink so 2 but i stil felt a bit derpereezzed so i slit mah rists b4 i went out. at the consurt trash waz wering  a tite blak linkin park t-shirt BC HE WUZ SO GIOFFIK ND KUUL. hE lokd eggxactly lik marlin mason but wit a completely diffrunt face n hair n outfit n bodee n maekup but he stil looked lik marrilyhn maansosn OK PREPSZ!11111

"hi eggy" he sed in a sooperr smexi voic. "haii" i sed flirtly in risponz.

we wentz in2 do concerto hal nd wer stadning rite in da centrere off da mosh pit. i lokd up n gERA;D WEY WUZ STERRING STR8 IN3 MAH red IEYEZ WIT HIZ PEERRRCING B;LU 1Z. "helloe eboby" he sed in a smexi ethnik vois. he wuz so skinny and atttraccktiv i forgut al abut trsah nd climd on2 sda stayge. "wutz ur naeme eboby?" gerrardi axed meh. "itz mary s- i mean itz enoby" i bluzhed laik a bby prosttitoot on her 1st nite.  (AN; omg mEAN GILZ = DA BEST MOOVIE EVAAA). Den we wentz bakstag nd forgut abot da constitution n trsha.

D end

AN: IZZ it gud pls comint nd vot i kno itz da bedt su STFU PREPZZZ!111 UR AL JUS POSRZ SO NO FLAMIN

A note from the actual authors:

Actually it's just Bean (THANKS SATAN + KAREN. Why did I get Bean? You need to rethink your life choices) because I have been tragically separated from Satan and Karen. We still wrote this chapter together though - I just finished it off. I'll find some way of letting them into the account even though they'll probably just troll me instead of writing this story. 

-Bean (I FUCKING HATE YOU BOTH THIS IS A SERIOUS LIFE PROBLEM*)

*This is sarcasm in case you are somehow incapable of recognising it. If this is you, well...we can't be friends.