The Undoing Of Heroes | ✓

three

three

TO MY SURPISE me and Aria didn't rip each other's throats off under the course of the day. She was actually a quite excellent teacher, and thanks to her infuriating ability to read my mind she knew when I was confused or didn't understand how something worked. She didn't make me feel dumb as she explained the more trivial things to me, and that mattered. 

When my mom arrived, things had all gone smoothly. She hadn't questioned how long I'd worked there for, and luckily my shaky knowledge on how things were run hadn't been put to the test. I had received many sharp glances from Aria, and I knew that she knew that I'd lied. And she did not approve of it one bit. 

"Thanks." I said, as me and Aria stepped outside the now empty coffee-shop, and her slender fingers reached down into her bag to snatch up a golden key. She swiftly locked the doors, then turned to me. 

"No problem." 

We stood in an overwhelming silence for a few minutes. I cleared my throat. 

"So, goodbye, then?"

I was about to turn around and leave, but then I felt her hand clamping down on my shoulder. 

I turned around, and faced Aria. She gnawed on her lip, and her eyes were focused on a point behind me, refusing to meet my curious look. She was conflicted. 

"There's ... we're meeting tonight. Me and Paindealer. He figured I'd ask you to come, even though we certainly don't need you."

I ignored the jab, and nodded silently as her hand dropped from my shoulder. I turned around to leave yet again when her voice rung out in the dark of the night. 

"I know why you do it." She said, and question marks buzzed in my mind. 

"What?"

"I know why you do it. Why you're 'bad'." She rolled her eyes, fixed her look on me, "I feel it too, you know."

"I'm bad because reality demands it of me." I replied, my voice never wavering. It was a comfort on it's own, speakig about a realization I'd had long, long ago, "I'd be in a hell of a place if I'd been an honest, hard-working citizen. It's not always a choice to be bad, it's a must." 

Aria nodded, slowly. 

"For me, it was never a must. I had a loving mother, a loving sister. We had a roof over our heads, food on our table."

Her eyes glazed over as I waited for her to continue speaking. Then, she snorted. 

"I don't know why I'm even telling you this." Her voice was tight, drawn with compressed emotions, "Anyway, rooftop of the West Mall. ASAP." 

Then she was the one to flee in the other direction, her steps long and yearning to bring a distance between us. 

I swiveled around on my heels, anticipation already running through my veins at the thought of turning into my darker self. It'd become a sort of split personality. At day, I was Rae. Sweet daughter, honest student and invisible wallflower. At night, I turned into Nightspark. She was the person I yearned to be during the day, confident, bold, outspoken. Powerful. 

I could rattle off an endless list of empowering adjectives to describe Nightspark, yet I didn't want to beat myself up anymore than I already did. I should be satisfied with what I've got, should I not? A caring mother, a good school. Food, roof. But there was something gnawing within me. I couldn't identify it, as it was an ache I'd never felt before.