My Opinion Doesn't Matter [On Hold]

My Opinion Doesn't Matter [[09]]

My body jolted forward as I tried to catch my breath. The darkness of night still enveloped my room. I tried to calm down, but it wasn’t working so well until I noticed my door was open. I couldn’t sleep with my door open; it had to be closed even though it didn’t do any with the fact that I have my nightmares almost every night, some the same and other nights, totally different ones.

Taking a few deep breaths, I walked to my door and quietly closed it. With a click, it securely closed and I tip-toed back to my bed. I wiped the cold sweat off of my forehead. I hated waking up to be out of breath and shivering from uncontrolled nerves. I just didn’t like it happening night after night. As I pulled the sheets over my body I couldn’t help, but wonder what my parents were thinking if I didn’t go tonight or… I glanced at my clock next to me and read the red numbers: 3:38; Alright, last night. Were they hurt, or did they not even notice me gone?

I sat up in my bed and looked at the dress that was still sitting, untouched, on my chair. The moonlight made it sparkle. I hated letting people down, but I had to do it this time. When was I ever going to get the same chance again? Probably never because that’s just how my life is. I was always told what to do, when and where, but it was nice to get out and have some fun with my best friend. Monday would be back to normal and another party next Friday night or even this Sunday. I tried to close my eyes and fall back asleep, but my dreams or nightmares kept me from falling into a deep sleep…

♠

“Veronica!” I was jolted awake by Katrina’s voice. I sat up and rubbed my eyes, grabbing my glasses and placing them over my tried orbs.

“Yes?” I yawned. When I noticed her hurt crossed face, I felt bad, but she tried to push it aside.

“Your mother wants you downstairs for breakfast.” I nodded, pulling the covers on my body, back as I stood up and stretched. Katrina started to grab my clothes off of the ground and when her eyes landed on the dress she quickly averted them back to the floor. I knew she was holding back tears.

“Katrina…” I started and as she looked up at me my name was called from downstairs. I could see everything in her eyes, how hard she worked on it and how proud of it she was. I looked at my door. If I didn’t hurry my mother would be angry with me and I didn’t know if she already was or not so, I walked up to Katrina and gave her a quick hug telling her, “I love it.” I didn’t know if those words were enough or not, but they were better than nothing as I hurried down the stairs and into the dining room.

Sitting at the end was the table was my mother and father. Next to them was my sister, quietly eating her breakfast of eggs and toast. My mother caught my body in her field of vision and waved me over to her. I walked slowly, trying not to make too much eye contact with them. They never had us all in the same room with each other unless something was important, like me skipping the formal last night. I pulled the seat out across from Laura and sat in it as James put a plate of food in front of me.

“Thanks.” I told him as he walked back to the kitchen.

“Okay, now that we’re all here I can talk.” M y father’s voice rang through my ears. I could just imagine his words now. ‘Disappointed’ with how I ‘didn’t show’ and how ‘disrespectful’ it was to ‘do that’. I cringed as he continued. “As you all know Ronnie’s had tutoring starting just this week and we’ve got to support her to keep her grades up…” I was confused. ‘Support’ me? “So that’s why we decided to make sure we don’t schedule any more formal parties on her tutoring nights so therefore, we’re going to have Michael’s Wedding party tonight.” I looked up at my father. Michael wasn’t in town to have his party tonight; it wasn’t for two more weeks. I noticed Laura’s eyes lit up as she looked at me. I looked down at myself and saw nothing amusing. I didn’t understand why she was so happy/amused until I felt a pair of arms wrap around my shoulders and pull me into a hug.

“I’ve missed you guys so much!” I recognized the voice and turned around to see my older brother Michael. I was so excited that I gave him a huge hug back. I missed Michael since he moved out three years ago to go to college, so much my family sort of stopped talking about him because he was never here until about a month ago when my parents brought up the wedding party idea.

“We’ve missed you too!” Laura yelled, running to come hug Michael with me. He chuckled.

“What has it been, two years?” I shook my head.

“Try three, my dear.” My mother corrected.

“Oh geez.” Laura was only 3 when Michael left, but she had visited him last year with my mother a week in the summer while my father and I stayed home to work on college things. I couldn’t help, but laugh at how Michael looked. I hadn’t seen him for only three years, but he had totally changed. His hair was a big longer and less tamed than when I he had lived here and he had sideburns that connected into a beard.

He looked put together, but free.

“What? Do I have something on my nose?” He asked, bringing his hand to his face. I took the chance and pushed my hand into his making him smack himself. Laura burst out laughing as did I. Michael pulled his hand back from his face and tried to act heartbroken, but he couldn’t as he grabbed me and started to give me head a soft nuggy.

“Alright you two, you’re both grown and don’t need to be playing childish games.” My father said, looking up from papers on the table that I hadn’t noticed were in front of him.

“Sorry dad.” We both said, stopping our sibling games.

“Alright, well Ronnie, I’m having Kaden stop by tonight before the party so that you two can study quickly so go and get ready.” I looked at my dad and nodded, retreating to my bedroom. “Oh and we missed you last night.” He said. I turned to look at him. I knew he knew where I was for the letter would’ve still been there if he hadn’t gone into my room last night to check on me and I wasn’t there.

“Ronnie’s got a tutor?” Michael asked as I walked up the stairs to my room.

“She must be getting distracted with something because her average was dropped this semester.” I rolled my eyes at my mother’s comment.

I wasn’t distracted; I just didn’t understand the material. I wasn’t the perfect little child like Michael, I wasn’t the smartest tool in the shed.