work together // cth

diciassette

lol not to be fake deep but awf ;(

I remember when I was younger, my mom and I were living with tutu. Just my mom and I, at the time I didn't have a legal dad. I was her only child-I am her only child yet she still didn't have enough money to support us. Which is why we were living with my grandparents.

In primary school, I always tried to excel in-well, everything, to make my mom happy because she was always stressed. Stressed trying to find a job and a way to feed me.

My mother, being the woman she is, told me that she had a job. Walked me to school every morning, then told me she had to rush off to work, but at various times each morning. I never understood until my kuku told me she was going to countless amounts of interviews. I had asked why and she told me that my mom didn't have a job. I was heartbroken, she had lied to me. I then asked why she didn't have a job. I was told she was getting rejected for most of them for not having a complete college education. The jobs she did manage to get were shitty.

Somehow she'd always manage to put dinner on the table for me every night, but not for herself. I'd asked if she wanted some of my food, I always asked, but she said she wasn't hungry. She was never hungry.

And then I discovered my love for performing after being casted for a play in school. It was the classic Wizard of Oz, I was lucky enough to be the cowardly lion. She didn't have nearly enough money to put me through musical theatre classes, but she did anyway. More jobs, less hours at home.

I wasn't a fucking idiot, I could see her struggling. I could see how tired and unhappy she was when she dropped me off at school every morning, but how hard she was trying for me. So from there on she was my number one priority. And I know, I should be my number one concern, but she never put herself before me. How could I be so inconsiderate not try to do the same?

Even after she met my dad, and things became easier, it was still my mindset.

So as Mr. West explained the new rule, I slowly took my hand from Calum's. He looked at me, but I refused to do the same.

"So, are you guys officially dating? This thing hasn't gotten too big between you two in the media, so it can still be forgotten" Mr. West says.

I finally find it in me to look at Calum. The beautiful boy next to me, who I like so much. Calum opens his mouth to respond, his brown eyes catching mine.

"No" I breathe out before Calum can say anything, "we aren't dating." Calum doesn't say anything after I respond to Mr. West's question.

"Okay" Mr. West says, hesitant, "since you aren't dating we want you to really understand why you guys should steer away from dating. Grace you have done previous work in the studio with Calum's band. You recorded for them, if you two did decide to date, privileges like that would be taken away from you out of fear of corruption of their music. Your job could even be taken away."

I nod, not wanting to hear anymore, "I get it. Can I go please?"

Mr. West nods, excusing me. I quickly get out of my chair, leaving his office. I walk down the hall, pressing on the elevator button many times, in attempt to get the elevator to go faster. It doesn't work.

Calum of course followed me out, he places his hand on my forearm, turning me to face him. He opens his mouth, not sure of what to say. It's like the night at the party, I can see that he's hurt and this time I know why. Once again, it's because of me. It seems all I can do is hurt him. His once bright, happy eyes have become clouded with sadness. The edges of lips turning into a harsh frown.

"I don't understand" He chokes out, looking down and fisting his hair, "why do you always do this shit, Grace?"

When he looks back up, I can see that I mistook the anger in his eyes for sadness. My breath hitches, as the elevator opens. I step inside, but so does he. I've never seen Calum angry; not at me anyway.

"Calum, please" I mumble, feeling my eyes water, "you were going to lie."

"You don't fucking know that!"

"Then why the hell are you so mad if you weren't?" I yell back weakly. Calum reaches out to stop the elevator. "You can't just do that, Cal."

"What the fuck is wrong with this, Grace?" He asks, gesturing between us to symbolize our relationship, "what do I keep doing that you can't stand the thought of being with me?"

He leans his forehead on the elevator walls, shielding his face away from me. He can't blame himself, I won't let him. This isn't his fault, he has to know that.

"Please don't say that" my voice cracks, tears falling onto my cheeks. I reach up to wipe them away then walk over to Calum, starting the elevator again. I put my hand on his shoulder, he turns to me, his face glimmering with tears.

My hand flies up to my mouth, stifling a sob. My other hand is on Calum's cheek, wiping his cheek from his tears. I wrap my arms around the precious boy standing in front of me, hoping that he can just wrap his arms around me one last time.

He does, stifling his sobs. I can't find the strength to do the same. I get that I've only know Calum for a month or so, but in that time I've gotten to really know him.

His fears, his weaknesses, what he loves about the world and what he hates. I know what he looks like when he wakes up in the morning and when he falls asleep.

I've grown familiar to his favorite songs, and the embrace of his arms around my body and the feeling of his lips on mine. I saw how he loved the boys so much, but called them 'little shits' because it's how they speak to each other. Hell, it's how we speak to each other.

I know things like his favorite color and his favorite fruit. I know his birthday and his favorite miniature animal. I know so much and I don't ever want to forget.

"I should've asked you out earlier" He croaks, bringing his hand up to my hair, smoothing out my hair, then it stops at my neck.

"One more time" He murmurs, cupping my cheek. His lips press on mine, molding together. The kiss is gentle, but filled with our passion for each other. Our longing for each other because we know that this is the last time. Our lips softly move together in sync. His nose pokes my cheek, and his arm snakes around my waist, pulling me closer to him.

I break the kiss, laying my forehead on Calum's. Our breaths are heavy, like the first time we kissed. Sad to think this is the last. The elevator dings signaling that we've reached the lobby. I step back from Calum and when the doors open I step out.

"Calum" I say, catching his attention.

"Yeah?"

"It's not your fault" I tell him, more tears falling down my face. "And I'm sorry."

"Grace-"

The elevator doors closed and I walked away.

this is a really bad chapter