Phan - A Broken Box

Phil's POV

"Phil?" The voice was faint, obviously choked up, and far away, but it was unmistakeably Dan's. Upon hearing him so...desolate, I set the laptop down beside me, careful to leave the lid open. I turned to see him, staring at his socks and fiddling with his shirt hem, tears having stained his jean legs and cheeks.
"Yeah? What's the matter?" I pushed myself off the bed and turned to face him, just as he half stumbled, half ran, into me, locking his arms around me to give me a hug in which I was helpless but to hug him back. He buried his face in my neck and cried like a child - but not in a childish manner. Sobs wracked his body, his arms around me shaking yet refusing to relenquish their grip. I had no idea of what to do, so I just stood there, until I felt his hold loosen slightly. I wrenched his arms from around me and held his shoulders at arms length. I tried to look him is the eye but he turned his head, avoiding my eye.
"Dan, talk to me!" I pleaded, and I'm sure he heard the helplessness in my voice because he wiped his eyes on the back of his hand and looked to me.
"I didn't - I never..." he tried to lean back into me again but I held my grip firm.
"Please, Dan. Tell me what's wrong! I can't bear to see you like this, please..."
He looked me right in the eyes then, and he said to me,
"I never wanted to lose you. I never thought you would leave."
My eyes, with his, strayed to the corner of my room where the wardrobe stood; from the door of it hung a suit - my soon-to-be wedding suit.
He collapsed into me then, and I let him. He was crying again when he spoke into my shoulder, so all I heard was a muffled sob: "What did you say, Dan?" I asked, squeezing him to show that it was okay.
He tore away from me, and yelled: "I said 'I wish it was me!'", before turning and leaving the room quite calmly - or so I thought.
What did that even mean? I wish it was me.
I wished it were you, too, Dan.
He returned moments later and stood in the doorway.
"Look," he said, "at this. Look!" And he threw a small blue box at me. I failed to catch it, and it rolled back to him. He scooped it up and, tears streaming from his face, glared at it.
I felt so lost. The world was glass, and Dan's change of heart shattered it - he never, ever has been a violent person, you could ask anyone. Shards of normality prodded me, sliced my skin, bled my thoughts, until I finally spat out some words.
"Dan, I.. Dan..." I repeated, and crumpled onto the carpet. I heard his footsteps fade away, then the springs of his bed, and sobbing once more - but this time, it was my shoulders quivering.

I ruined it. Everything.
I had my chance to tell him, and I blew it.
Way to go, Lester. Way to go.