Just My Imagination...

Are You Sure You're Not Crazy?

"Patrick." I looked up at Andy, who I hadn't heard approach. "Therapist wants to see you." He said.

I frowned. I didn't want to see her. How were you supposed to trust someone that told you how they spiked your food.

"C'mon, Patrick." Andy tapped my shoulder. I sighed, reluctantly standing from my seat. Ryan quickly grabbed my hand to squeeze it before letting his hand drop back to his side. He gave me a slight smile that I returned.

I turned and followed after the doctor. Pete stayed close to me, entangling his arm in mine. He didn't speak a word.

I entered the therapist's room and simply plopped down on the couch. Pete sat more carefully, curling up next to me.

Miss Elisa smiled. "Hello, Patrick. How are you today?"

I shrugged. I didn't feel like talking to her. I really just wanted to sit with Ryan or Pete or anyone else...

"I see..." She wrote on her clipboard, the scratching sound driving me slightly insane. "Patrick... I know you haven't been eating."

I looked up at her. What did she expect? I did what they said, but then they tried to drug me behind my back.

"Honey, if you keep this up, we'll have to put you on a feeding tube, which I'm sure Mr. Urie has told you is no fun." Elisa frowned.

"Well if there wasn't extra medicine in my food, maybe I'd eat!" I snapped, causing Pete to jump slightly.

Elisa looked confused. "Patrick, we don't put things in our patients food." She said softly.

I shook my head. "No... No, you told me! M-my last visit!"

She shook her head at me. "I didn't, Patrick. Your last visit we just discussed how you're settling... Patrick, what else do you remember happening?.."

Her voice trailed off in my ears as I looked over at Pete. I didn't understand. She had told me! I can remember it so clearly... How had it not happened?..

"Trick?.." Pete's hand slid to my back. It moved in small soothing circles. "Are you alright?"

"I really am crazy..." I said wordlessly.

"No, you're not!" Pete insisted. He scooted closer, if possible, and hid his face in my shoulder. "I promise!.. You're not crazy..."

I shook my head, trying to keep quiet. She already thought I was insane... I couldn't fight the feeling that I was...

---

"Sing to me..." Pete insisted as we laid in my bed. We had been here since I left the therapist. There was still time to go out with the others, but I couldn't. Ryan had slipped into my room to see me, but quietly left when I wouldn't reply.

I was just stuck in a jumble of thoughts that I couldn't escape.

"Baby, please sing... It used to help." Pete whispered. "If I could sing, I would sing to you everyday..."

I stayed silent. Was I crazy? Did I make up that conversation to adapt with Pete vanishing?.. But then, why did he?..

Pete's arms were wrapped protectively around me. I felt safe in his arms... I was warm in his arms... Which was something I didn't understand. I thought death was cold.

I was never cold around Pete.

If anything, he kept me from being cold.

I could hardly believe the life he had lived... I almost didn't want to. It was a fate you wished upon no one.

"What happened when you left me?.." I finally spoke softly.

Pete stiffined slightly. I already regretted asking. I didn't want him to be sucked into more bad memories.

"I was there... With you... Then I wasn't." Pete spoke softly, "It was weird... I was talking to you... And then there was a light. I heard voices, but I couldn't understand them... I was begging to go back. To you... I couldn't just leave like that..."

I turned over and looked straight into his multicolored eyes. He was jetting them back and forth. He seemed to be racking his brain for the information.

"I heard them say they had an excuse for me... But I wouldn't go towards the light. They finally pushed me back..."

I sat up, letting Pete's hands slip from my sides. "You... You were going to be at peace." My mind was whirling again. He was going to be happy. Finally away from this hell on earth or the purgatory he had been trapped in... Why the hell would he come back?..

"I couldn't just leave you!" Pete sat up as well, looking me straight in the eye. "They came up with some excuse, but I can't leave you thinking your crazy... You're not, Patrick..." A tear slipped from Pete's eye.

"An excuse?.." The food. The medicine in the food... That was were it came from. It really hadn't happened... It was put there... Maybe I wasn't crazy...

"I couldn't just leave you." Pete whispered. He sniffled, wiping his eye on his sweater sleeve.

I shook my head, reaching out and pulling him close. "You were supposed to move on... You could of finally been happy..." I said, feeling tears of my own spill down my cheeks.

"But I'm happy with you..." Pete spoke quietly, "You're the only heaven I need..."