the flatline project

i. fire

part one: the death wish

i. fire

it started with a breath.

a gasp.

an exhale.

flesh and blood and bones and

human.

so human.

brought into this world without a say.

defenseless. unarmed. clueless. 

unaware of the demons and the monsters and the awful awful people who pretend to be good.

the people who smile and lie and lie with smiles on their faces.

they have blood on their hands. blood on their clothes. blood in their souls. 

they're out for blood because it gives them power. and they're not even the ones we are taught to be afraid of.

there are people.

and then there are monsters.

the monsters are not under your bed, they're in your head.

trust me, I know.

I know I know I know

that they're in my head.

but it feels real. so real.

they didn't warn me. no one told me to prepare myself. to arm myself.

I was shoved into existence.

forced to breathe.

commanded to pretend and hide and deceive. 

I had no idea. no idea whatsoever.

unscathed.

I was unscathed when I took my first breath.

my first step.

unscathed when I smiled and laughed and played and cried and loved.

I had no idea. 

no idea I was going to fall.

to fall

and fall

and fall

and never get back up.

to fall

and fall

and never hit the ground.

I had no idea. 

because no one told me, no one warned me, no one explained to me that this world is not a place you want to live in. 

that this world is dangerous and deadly and vicious and uncaring. that there are people and monsters and demons.

demons.

I see them. everywhere. 

in the shadows. in the darkness. in the mirror. in my eyes that are neither blue nor green. 

I can't hide from them. can't run from them. 

because they are everywhere and I've got nowhere to go.

even if I could escape, I am alone. I am unarmed. always unarmed.

but not vulnerable.

never vulnerable.

people do not get within a metre of me before they catch alight. 

and my walls are too high for them to climb to safety.