the flatline project

v. epidemic

v. epidemic

the distance between happiness and sadness

is longer than the distances between universes.

I would know.

I've tried to close that distance.

people tell me it's for the best

and that I have to do it.

but they don't know what it's like to step foot on foreign soil

to breathe toxic air

to touch burning acid

and not make a sound.

because in this world obsessed with idolising deadly things

you won't make it out alive if you so much as make a sound of protest as their icy fingers wrap tightly tightly tightly around your throat and squeeze and squeeze and squeeze until there is no air left to breathe in this broken, desolate world.

but sometimes it isn't all about me.

sometimes

the world is in more danger than I am.

I don't know why I bother opening my eyes every morning if the only thing that greets me is darkness and devastation.

in a world where violence is slowly becoming second nature and smiles are scarcely appearing it's hard to know what's right and what's wrong

what's up and what's down

what's in and what's out.

society is a drug

flowing through every single human being's veins.

poison.

deadly.

even the ones I care about most are in danger

and there is nothing I or anyone else can do

except wait for the whole wide world to self-destruct into millions and billions of pieces.

I want to self-destruct, too.

I want to leave before society properly takes a hold of me.

because I know that once I am captured I will never escape and I don't want to live like that.

I don't want to live at all if it means that I'll be held prisoner by a monster worse than my own monsters.

because my monsters are bad enough.

I seem crazy

and maybe I am

no

not maybe.

I am crazy.

forever chained to insanity that people can't see.

maybe the world is going crazy too.

I can sympathise

and empathise

with that.

because I know what insanity feels like

and what death tastes like

and what darkness sounds like.

I know what demons and monsters and the dark and deadly creatures under the bed look like.

I see everything

and nothing at all.

I see more than everyone

and less than everyone.

and that is my curse.

just like the world.

cursed.

bound to promises that can't be kept.

tethered to the soul of every corpse in this wretched land.

I think the world has fallen ill.

a sickness that is not easily cured.

a disease that is slowly affecting every living thing inside.

illness so powerful so deadly so greedy that it is sweeping through like a deadly wave.

an epidemic

designed to

o b l i t e r a t e

anyone and everything

until there is nothing and no one left.

just like the thing inside of me.

I am being obliterated from the inside by my very own disease.

the world

and I

share many similarities and differences.

we are similar

in that

we are dying

and

being destroyed

and we are

unable to be saved.

but we are different

in that

the world is cared for

and I

am not.

if the world was destroyed

then I would be too.

I want to do anything

and everything

in my power to see that happen.

I think.