Trigger waring, may trigger suicidal thoughts
U~
All I want to do
is disaapear
I want to dissolve into
Thin air
I don't deserve this life
I don't deserve this body
I don't deserve any of it
I'm worthless
I'm ugly
I'm fat
I'm disgusting
I'm stupid
You call me names
You talk behind my back
You beat me up
You make me cry
Silently
The tears fall down
I curl up
And wail
You're right
I really am an idiot
Why haven't I killed myself
I wonder
I'm too scared
I'm too weak
I want to
But I can't
Or maybe it's because I'm strong
I'm a fighter
I don't know
Maybe I can
But you say I can't
You label me
You judge me
You make me feel as if I can't
All I know is that I want to be dead
Maybe I'm already dead
Maybe I'm in my after life already
Maybe this is only a dream
As I hold the blade to my throat
Sqeeze the rope in my hands
Shake the bucket of bleach
Run my hands along the pills
I want to escape
Take me to never land
Forget me
Let me fly away
Maybe if I don't cry
I won't feel anymore
Maybe I'll jut remain
Stone cold
Maybe I'll just lay here
Regretting every choice I've ever made
Hating everything about me
Wanting death more and more
You find me
Hung up
Lifeless on the ground
Drowned in the bath
You find my wrists bloody
My eyes lifeless
A note beside my body
You read it
You realize
That I was only wishing for death
That I was bound to end up like this
That I was a soon to crumble
You hold my body
You cry
I'm sorry I hurt you
I'm sorry I am
But it hurt to much
I'm better now
It's over
I now longer cry out "kill Me now"
~
Hey guys, haven't updated this book in a while so here's two updates! I just choose to write about depression and heart break because they are the mos intricate topics to me. In the past I've never warned anyone about my poems, but I'd like to say that these my all be triggering. So read at your own risk. If you're going through something hard like this, just know you can message me. I'm here to talk to. Love you!
