The It Girl

Chapter Eight

[Warning this chapter can be triggering and very graphic]

My mom took me home, right when I got into the house I ran upstairs. I went to my bedroom and I shut the door. I go on the other side of my bed, towards my nightstand. I take out my cigarettes. I go to my normal place, I crack the window and I smoke.

So, I almost had Holly, but now I don't. Bethany found out I'm bisexual. She's gonna tell the whole school. Nate and Bethany are now dating. I have no friends, and I know my sister will hate me, for what I did to Holly. I should have stopped my heart, when I had the chance.

I smoke a couple cigarettes, then I put everything back. I look over at the picture of Holly, Amber, and I. I grab the frame and I throw it against the wall. The frame shatters across the floor. I sit on the floor and hug my knees.

I deserved this! I deserved this hell! I thought I was the victim, no I'm not. I'm the one that caused the pain in everyone's life. I made Nate, keep his love to Bethany a secret. I made Bethany be my best friend. I yelled at Holly and then made her love me back. I hurt my best friend's sister. I made my mom have the imperfect family, she never wanted.

I look over and see a piece of glass. I take it, staring at it. I look at my clean wrist. I take the glass shard and slide it against my wrist. Each cut, for each mistake. Blood pours down my wrist. I take a deep breath. I hear a knock at my door, "hey it's Amber, we need to talk."

Oh shit, she'll see the blood.

"Give me a second," I say as I run to my sink and put my wrist under the water. I bite down on my lip, trying not to scream. After the blood washes away, I run over to my bed and I push all the pieces of glass under my bed. I throw my picture away and any pieces of the frame I could find. I take off my bloody sweatshirt and I put on a sweater. I open my door and let Amber in.

"Why, did it take you so long," Amber asks.
Cause I needed to clean up my bloody mess.
"I was getting dressed," I lie as I sit on my bed.
"Oh, okay. Holly told me everything."
"Yeah, I know, I fucked up."
"You hurt my best friend."
Yeah, I fucking know! I'm hurting everyone by living.
"So."
"Are you kidding me? I don't even know you anymore!"
Same.

I shrug at her, and she storms out my room. I shut my door behind her and lock it. I throw away all the pieces of glass but one. I take that one and put it in my sock drawer. I walk to the bathroom and I clean up my cuts and bandage them. If someone asks I'll say I burned myself.

I grab my phone and I text my mom, "Tomorrow the school is gonna call you and say I'm not there, tell them Im sick." She replies with, "thanks for the heads up." I put my phone on my nightstand. I turn off all the lights. And curl up in bed, under the covers.

So tomorrow, I'll stay at home, and do exactly what I'm doing right now. It's not like anyone will care. Bethany will tell everyone I'm a dyke. Nate will tell all the guys I have a STD. Holly will surely hate me forever. Bethany will tell my mom, my mom will either scream at me or tell the world to get more attention.