b r e a t h e

Chapter Four

Warning, This Chapter Contains Strong Language

The whole week my mom takes me to school.

Monday comes around. I don't hear from Alex.

Tuesday comes around. Same thing.

Wednesday comes around. Again.

Thursday comes around. Nothing.

Friday comes around. I approach him. "Alex what the actual? You have been avoiding me every since that stupid k-" He slaps his palm over my lips.

"Shut up." He murmurs and drags me to an isolated corner of the school. "I'm really sorry. You're gonna hate me, but I've been just calling up random girls and..." He looks down ashamed.

"You've been fucking them." I suck in my breath and hold it.

"Ella..."

"Don't 'Ella' me!"

"You know..."

"No, I don't fucking know! What? You are a dirty, little manwhore and all you care about is sex? You are scared of a relationship and you enjoy one-night stands? You always compliment girls on their body and not personality? You were thinking of fucking me when we first met? Tell me Alex fucking Reed, what do I know?"

He takes a deep breath in, "yes, I am a dirty, little manwhore only cares about sex! Yes, I am scared of a relationship and prefer one-night stands! Yes, I always compliment bodies and not personalities! Yes, I wanted to fuck you when I first saw you! Maybe I still do and that's why I'm so fucking scared because I love being friends with you!"

I stare at him as my face heats up. He wanted to fuck me. He still might wanna fuck me.

"Ella Hannah Gone, I'm in love with our friendship and I'm scared that I'm gonna lose all control one day and you are gonna look extremely fucking hot and I'm gonna wanna fuck you. I don't want that to happen so I'm scared and that's why I've been sleeping around all week and ignoring you."

"Alex." I reach out and touch his forearm.

"See it's innocent things like this from you that make me not so innocent."

I step away, anger, confusion, and fear flooding my eyes. "Alex..."

"The way you even say my name! The way your tongue rolls it over and sometimes your breath hitches while say it and I'm in love with that."

"You're in love with parts of me, but not me." I mumble.

"Yes and before I lose control over myself in public," he grabs both of my wrists. "I want you to know I don't hate you. I hate myself for kissing you. I hate myself for becoming your friend and still wanting to fuck you. I hate myself for so many reasons, and I hate that you are involved in so many. That's my bad habit, it's not drinking or smoking, it's that I can't trust myself with a beautiful girl because I don't want to hurt her."

"I miss the Alex who would call me 'princess' and stayed up till the late hours of the night with me. I miss eating popcorn and drinking punch till midnight with him. I hate to say it, but I miss the super protective Alex. I don't care if you sleep with a shit-ton of girls, I mean I kinda do, but I want you to go back to last week's Alex."

"I promise I will," he sighs, grabbing me and holding me tight. I hear him mumble something inaudible.

Ask him. No. I can't. I don't wanna push this.

"I'm really sorry, princess." I look up and see his smirk.

"Why princess?"

"You'll find out in due time."

"Whatever, Reed."

"This seems natural."

I nod and we head off to class as the end-of-lunch bell rings.

1.3.16-616 Words

Sorry For Language And Shortness! I'll make it up in the next chapter!

-glo