b r e a t h e

Chapter Twentyone

"Liz is...dead?" I repeat the words that burn like vodka on the back of my throat. "No...no...no..." I run downstairs, tearing streaming my face. "NO! NO! NO!"

Anna and Samantha run after me, yelling various phrases to calm me down. "Ella! Ella!"

"NO! No! No..." I reach the front door and swing it open. "Oh, Alex. I'm sorry."

His arms wrap around my waist and my arms lock around his neck. "A drunk driver hit her." He manages to say.

"Stop drinking. Honor your mom." I whisper back to him.

"I want to. It's just makes time stop. Helps me forget." He sighs, his tears hitting my shoulder.

"Alex, there are so many other ways to make the world disappear." I look at him. He looks broken. He looks like the world is resting on his shoulders and he has to carry it. "My dad. He got killed by a drunk driver as well. I managed to see him before he passed away. I'm so sorry you couldn't."

"I'm sorry about your dad, princess." He frowns, wiping away my tears.

"It's fine. I'm sorry about your mother. Liz was so kind to me. I thought of her as my second mother. She welcomed me so easily when my mom and I first moved in. She was the best mom. She is so proud if you. Even though you cursed a lot, hit on me too much, and slept around. She loves you." More tears stain my face and I hear Anna and Samantha shuffle awkwardly in the living room.

"Loved. She can't love me anymore." He looks to the floor. His normally glowing, emerald eyes have faded into a sad, bile green.

"Just because she isn't sleeping in her bedroom right now doesn't mean she doesn't love you." I cup his cheeks, his tears streaming over my hands. "I hate to sound like a cheesy pastor, but, Liz is always gonna be there. When you graduate high school. When you get accepted into UCLA. When you get married. When you have your first kid. When you have your other kids. When your laying in your bed next to your wife and you pass away, she'll be there to greet you and you can talk about everything amazing and how there's unlimited popcorn and cookies in heaven."

"Thank you." He sadly smiles at me, pulling me into a tight hug. "Thank you so much, princess."

"I'm always just a window away." I smile back. "Do me one favor though. Please stop drinking. Think about your mom, think about seeing you try to drink away your problems is killing her...and you."

"I promise I'll sober up." He nods, a few more tears bubbling up. "What would I do without you?"

"Drink yourself to death." I laugh, trying to lighten the mood.

"Yeah, don't let me do that." He smiles at me and brings himself closer.

Why not, Ella? Go ahead.

I close my eyes, inching closer to him. His hand rises up to my neck before Anna and Samantha clear their throats. "Oops." Alex mumbles. "Text you later, princess."

I close the door after him and turn to Anna and Samantha. "When did you learn to make speeches like that?" Anna asks.

"It comes naturally in the most upsetting situations." I shrug. "It's weird. I don't plan the speeches or anything. With Alex...I just can talk easily."

"Speaking of which, did you forget we were here? You and Alex seemed like you two wanted to get busy." Samantha smiles jokingly.

"Not that busy." I fix her assumptions and sigh. "It's really weird. We go to each other in times of need."

"Hate to break it to you, but he has no one but you and your best friends are living in Ohio." Anna comments.

"He's gonna need you more than ever now." Samantha continues. "Alex needs your company, mainly so he doesn't do something really stupid."

"After you guys leave. Alright?" They nod and we head back to our rooms.

"I love you, Ella." I hear Alex whisper from his room. "No, no. Ella, I think I'm in love with you. No, that won't work. What if I'm not actually in love with her and it's just grief and four in the morning thoughts. Yes, it has to be that. It has to."

I walk swiftly passed my window and into my bed. I try to forget about Alex, about my dad, about Liz, about Jessica and about Rebecca, about Finn. I try to forget about everything that's made me as messed up as I am today and that makes me fall into a deep, dark, sleep.

"Where is everyone?" I turn in circles, trying to find anything or anyone. "Where am I?"

The room's pitch black. Wait. Is it even a room? I start to see words floating around. Faces drift in the air. "Am I in my head again?" I remember being seventeen and seeing Alex and California in my mind.

"Oh Gerard Way, what am I to see now?" I look behind me and see a long wedding dress. "Is that mine?" I keep staring at the 'memory' or I assume 'future'. An older Ella steps into view and starts to put on the dress.

"How do I look?" She asks, twirling around in it. The skirts spreads out but keeps her feet covered.

"You look beautiful." My mom steps into view. She has a few grey hairs, but nothing noticeable. "I can't believe my little Ella is getting married."

"I can't believe it either." Future Ella and I say in sync.

The 'screen' switches off and another one, this time to the left side of me, flicks on. I see Alex. He's in a suit and is nervously pulling at his collar. It flicks off and I hear Anna and Samantha yelling at me.

"Ella! Ella! Ella! Wake! Wake! Up! Up!"

I open my eyes and see my best friends standing over me.."I have a really beautiful wedding dress."

"What?" Anna asks.

"Sometimes, I can get stuck in my head. The first, and only other time, this happened, my mom passed it off as hallucinations from me blacking out. I saw Alex, I saw us being at a funeral together. I predicted that I'd meet him. Now I saw my wedding dress." I explain.

"That's...amazing." Samantha stares at me, wide eyed. "What else did you see?"

"I saw Alex, in a suit. But it wasn't like a marriage suit. He looked around his current age. Unlike when I was putting in the wedding dress, where I look around twenty four or twenty five."

"That's so cool!" Anna squeals.

I chuckle and stand up. "Let's go out for breakfast."

1.17.16-1128 Words

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-glo