Peter Jackson: Where's Alaina and Dean?
Me: *waves dramatically* We're over here!
Peter Jackson: Okay, remember what you're supposed to do, right?
Dean: Yeah. It's after the Battle of the Five Armies and everyone survived and my character just can't wait to be king and he decides to sing about it and Alaina's character is my advisor and she follows me around Erebor.
Peter Jackson: Good. ACTION!!! (play audio)
Fili (Dean O'Gorman): I'm gonna be a mighty king, so enemies beware!
Me: *Dean pulls me around and dances with me* Well, I've never seen a king of beasts with quite so little hair.
Fili: I'm gonna be the main event like no king was before. I'm brushin' up, on lookin' down, I'm workin' on my ROAR!
Me: Thus far a rather uninspiring thing.
Fili: Oh, I just can't wait to be KING!
Me: Well you have a long way to go young master if you think...
Fili: No one sayin' do this...
Me: Now when I said that...
Kili: No one sayin' be there...
Me: Now what I meant was...
Fili: No one sayin stop that...
Me: Now what you don't realize...
Fili and Kili: No one sayin see here...
Me: NOW SEE HERE...!
Fili: Free to run around all day!
Me: Well that's definitely out of the...
Fili: Free to do it all my way!
Me: I think it's time that you and I arranged a heart to heart.
Fili: Kings don't need advise from little dwarrow dames for a start.
Me: If this is where the monarchy is headed, count me out. Out of service, out of Erebpr, I wouldn't hang about. This child is getting wildly out of wing!
Fili: Oh I just can't wait to be KING! Everybody look left, everybody look right! Everywhere you look I'm standing in the spotlight!
Me: Not yet!
Everyone: Let every creature go for broke and sing! Let's hear it in the heard and on the wing! It's gonna be King Fili's finest fling!!!!
Fili: *having the time of his life and is still dancing with me around the halls of Erebor* Oh, I just can't wait to be king!!!
Everyone: Oh, he just can't wait to be king!!!
Fili: Oh, I just can't wait...
Everyone on set: *sings at the top of their lungs and finishes* To be King!!!
Fili and Kili: *still singing* I just can't wait to be King!!
*The two brothers look at each other and start fighting on who would be a better king*
Me: FILI!!! KILI!!!!!!!!! The two of you will never be king if you don't stop fighting!!!
*The two look at me in horror*
Peter: And that's a wrap!!
*Everyone runs in for a big hug except for me*
Me: What do you mean? Do you wish me a fond farewell, or mean that I shall act no more whether I want or-or not; or that you feel good on this particular shoot; or that this was a scene that I did good on? Hmm?
Peter: All of them at once, I suppose.
James Nesbitt: Just come one and join the hug!
Me: Fine! *goes and joins the hug*
Peter: *wakes up from dream* What a dream...
YOU ARE READING
If I worked with Dean O'Gorman
HumorMe fan-girling when I see or work with Dean O'Gorman. And if you think that I'm just weird for that, go ahead, but you have one question to answer: Am I the only one?
