Dark paradise

Why me?

Outside it's cold and rainy, I am running back to my house even though it is 3 miles away. I didn't have my phone with me neither a jacket, when I come home my dad was sleeping in the couch with a alcohol bottle in his hands. I took the bottle and walked up to my room, I put it in one of my drawers. I started to feel really nauseous again, but this time I puked. It was disgusting. I wiped my mouth and walked back to my room crying, I feel so bad and I just want do die! I walked down to the kitchen and I grabbed a knife, I pressed it lightly to my chest and I closed my eyes. I began to press harder, then I hear someone going down from the stairs and I lay away the knife.

I went up back to my room and sat on the bed wondering, Why me? Why did they have to say that I kissed Emma?  Why did they say I touched other girls? Why did Emma kiss me? Why??  I changed my clothes and laid back down in my bed.
My alarm is ringing and I totally forgot that it was school today, I'm having the hangover from hell and everyone hates me, well this is going to be the best day of my life...  I changed to something comfy and tried to cover these demon circles underneath my eyes. I skipped breakfast and I walked my way over to the bus stop, I tried to have like a I don't give a fuck attitude. Which I did but I didn't want anyone to think I was sad and broken.

Now I'm at school and it fells like everyone is staring, I'm just trying to keep my attitude up and not draw too much attention. At lunch I decided to sit alone, then Emma and the others from the popular gang come and surrounded me. I was quite scared, they started punching me and call me words like whore, gay, sinner, bitch. When I said stop they started punching harder and I was now laying on the ground, there's blood everywhere and I'm crying. I hear everyone screaming GO TO HELL! I try to get away but they're holding me to the ground, after a few tries I can get away and I am running to the bathroom. I'm crying and I hear quite steps outside the toilet door, I'm shaking and I hear Emma saying -Allison it's just me I promise I'm really sorry for...  She stopped her sentence and then started screaming  ALL THE SHIT I HAD TO GO THROUGH JUST BECAUSE OF YOU, YOU STUPID GAY WHORE.