This was a therapeutic chain of events.

EIGHT

Days went by, followed by weeks, then months. Every day was pretty much the same. I woke up, ignored my parents, they ignored me, things were getting back to normal. Every morning before school I went to visit Larry, and most nights when I came home, did the same. He had become like family to me, I couldn't imagine my life without him now, we spoke about everything, I think he knew more about me than my own parents did.

Every weekend I would go out with Bono and get absolutely fucked, my need for drugs and sex and alcohol was only growing, and I loved it. The cold New York nights were melting into spring which meant I could stay out longer into the night, heightening my happiness and leaving me infatuated with living. That was until it happened.

*4 hours earlier.*

"OK Bono are we still on for tonight?" I said, walking out of the school gates next to my best friend, life right now was great, I had no responsibilities, no parents to moan at me, I think they'd given up as well, which I was happy about. I was finally free from everything that was keeping me down before, it felt like I was finally rid of it all. Sure the still lingering thoughts of abandonment remained, and the hollow empty feeling of loneliness was still a prominent feature, but it looked as though things were finally getting better.

"Yeah, course we are, meet you at yours at 10." He replied, we went our separate ways. "Only one more week baby, woo." Bono shouted from across the lot. I laughed to myself and began my journey home.

I checked my phone and it was 4:46. I pushed my front door open and I was greeted by my mother cooking dinner.

"Hey honey." She said in a much too enthusiastic voice for a Friday afternoon.

"Hey." I mumbled making my way upstairs.

"I'm making dinner." Yeah I can see that.

"I'm going out." I shouted back already half way up the stairs. I heard her mumble and 'ok' before I closed my door. I decided that before we went out I would go to the squirrel hill café and eat with Lucas, him and I have been getting on really well lately and I'm really grateful to have him as my company. Then I was planning on seeing Larry before I went out and got fucked.

After I had changed out of my clothes from school and left to go meet Lucas, it was 5:37. I left my apartment without speaking a word to either of my parents and them returning the favour.

I walked down the streets of New York with a smile, I was going to meet Lucas at the Café and we were going to a restaurant on 6th called Del Frisco's, I had been there before when I was younger but Lucas never had.

I walked into the café and saw Jenny at the counter, she gave me a small wave before getting back to serving the customers, it was pretty busy in there so I just waited by the door for Lucas to come out the back. I saw his brown hair appear, and because he was taller than pretty much everyone I knew, I could also see the grin that was spread across his face.

"Ready?" He said, I nodded and smiled up at him. He put an arm over my shoulder, not in a romantic way, but in more or a protective way, it was still getting dark around this time, and if I've learned one thing about Lucas it's that all he ever does is protect me. Which I guess is kind of nice, seeing that I don't have anyone to do that for me apart from Bono and a 65 year old man and his dog.

When we came out of the restaurant we were both so full up, we kept making jokes and comments about how we were going to explode. I pulled out my phone and my screen flashed with the time 8:28. I couldn't believe how long we had been in there.

"Do you want me to walk you home?" Lucas asked.

"No it's fine, I'll manage." I said smiling up at him.

"Are you sure-?" He began to say.

"Yes Lucas, your apartment is the opposite direction of mine, I'll be fine, now go." I said practically pushing him in the direction of his apartment.

"Ok, I'll see you tomorrow." He said placing a friendly kiss on my forehead and waving goodbye, heading back to his place

Once he was no longer in sight I started walking towards the square where I was going to see Larry. I stopped a café on the way to grab him a cup of tea, continuing on my way.

When I got to the square, I couldn't see Larry or Romeo anywhere, I looked over to the bench and then the opposite side of the square, but they weren't there. As I strained my eyes through the New York darkness I could see him lying on the floor facing the fence of the park. I figured for a moment that he was just blocking himself from the wind.

"Hey Larry." I said getting closer to him, he didn't budge, and for a second I convinced myself that he was asleep. "Larry?" I said beginning to grow worried. Romeo poked his head up but didn't budge from his side, whereas usually he would run over to me. Suddenly the worst possible conclusion hit me.

I felt my entire body go numb, my fingers lost their feeling and the takeaway cup I was holding slipped through my fingers colliding with the ground in one swift destructive moment, liquid slapping the cold cement that layered the floor. My heart rate jumped three times, slowing down, then getting faster again. Everything moved in slow motion, all the noise of the traffic and the people passed by was blocked out from the one realisation that flipped my world upside down entirely.

My knees felt like they were about to give way, my eyes didn't blink and I came to the brief conclusion that I was dead, or it was a dream. That's when my knees buckled and I ran as fast as I could towards the only person who had ever made me feel anything other than betrayal, the only person who made me think anything of myself, my knees collided with the harsh surface of the floor, and with everything still moving in slow motion, I crashed down next to him shaking him vigorously.

Once everything returned to it's normal motion, all I could see were my hands moving frantically in order for him to wake up, just open his eyes, but they never did. I felt my being begin to panic, my chin started wobbling and my eyes started to burn.

"Larry?" I said with a hoarse and broken voice. My voice cracked and when I didn't see his eyes open, the first of many tears rolled down my cheek.

"Larry?" I shouted louder this tie, convincing myself that maybe he couldn't hear me, but that he was fine.

"Oh god please." I cried, more and more tears flooding my cheeks. "Larry wake up, get up." I said shaking him harder. Realisation hit me. I buried my face into his coat, blocking my tears from passing earshot. "Don't leave me, you can't leave me." I could feel myself dying, literally dying inside, every hope I had ever had vanished, every laugh I had ever laughed vanished, my life vanished. "Please." I said biting his coat so I couldn't scream I could feel my throat, or my face, or hands, or even the breath from my lungs, if there even was any.

"Help!" I shouted lifting my head away from him and turning my head to see if anyone was near me, people were walking passed and didn't even turn their heads. "Somebody help please!" I shouted again. Romeo came and put his head on my lap, which made my heart fall out my chest and lous sobs only begin to grow.

A man came running over with his wife and they asked me what was wrong. I couldn't speak, I just pointed to the cold, motionless, dead body beside me, and mumbled a word I didn't even know. The man crouched down beside Larry and felt for his pulse, looking back up at his wife a moment later with a face that confirmed it all. His wife wrapped her arms around me and pulled me in allowed my obliterated sobs to fall out onto her jacket.

It didn't matter what anyone else diagnosed Larry with, as far as I was concerned, if anyone was dead, it was me.