Hey guys Blazzium here, and I just wanted to talk to you about something I'm not even sure is right.
So, I know I haven't been updating chapters like I usually do, but that's because a lot of stuff has happened during the past four months since I started grade 7.
First of all, I'm going to talk about September. My September was hectic. Starting grade 7 was a giant change for me, and especially if you started it off with being sperated from the only friends you have. My teacher was nice to me, and very kind. In the middle of September; my brother and mother had a fight, because he woke my mother up at around 2 in the morning, and she needed to be up at 3:30.
Then came October. October wasn't that bad, but school kinda kept me down a bit. Homework, after school activities, it was crazy, but other then that, I updated things quite fine.
November though was different. November school started to become an issue, and I was getting into a lot of fights, and a lot of things. I started swearing more, and I did things I never told my parents. It was difficult, because at that time I had started a new job, and after school I would start instantly. It was difficult to balance everything, and I didn't go outside much at that time.
December was more of an issue to me. I stayed up later, I woke up late. Going back to school would be difficult if I only had about five hours sleep. I started fighting more with my family, and I started to not come out of my bedroom often. I started to become anti-social, and I didn't talk often.
Then at New Years is where everything tumbled down for me. Everything was going fine. My brother, brother-in-law, sister, uncle, and aunt were playing cards against humanity, and myself, my mother, grandfather, and grandmother were watching T.V. My cousin was asleep in my bedroom, and we started to talk about the president of the United States. Obama, even though we're from Canada. It got my grandfather riled and well, my brother-in-law got pissed, and it started a fight. He swore, cursed, and left, ten minutes to midnight. My brother then got pissed and threatened if mother didn't let him back in he'd leave. One minute to midnight, no one would say a word.
Now, I feel like I wasn't the same person as I was last year. I feel like now I'm just a social person who doesn't get around to doing things she wants to. I don't know if it's depression, but I don't want to kill myself. I just feel like my life is crashing down around me. A-and to tell you the truth, I kinda do feel like ending my life....... I-I don't know what to do anymore. Bowling has become difficult, I'm getting sick from staying up to late, I'm not eating as much, and.... I feel like my whole life.... was a waste.
