teenagers

0.1

don't eat. you're fat.

don't eat. you're ugly.

don't eat. nobody will love you.

don't eat. then you won't have to vomit.

don't eat. nobody will want you to be their boyfriend.

don't eat.these calories are killing you.

don't eat.nothing will happen if you don't.

don't eat. no one will accept you.

don't eat. this piece of bread will make you fatter than you already are.

don't eat. if you want the respect of others.

i stared at the sandwich in front of me. i was so hungry, i hadn't eaten in three days just so that i could be lovely.

"aren't you going to eat it" i looked up at noah and smiled, trying to think of an excuse.

"i ate a lot before i came here so i'm not really hungry" the brunette nodded before taking my sandwich and eating it himself.

"i refuse to let good food go to waste" he said with his mouth full.

"you're disgusting noah" cassie said with a laugh.

i laughed with them, happy that noah took away the food before i could eat it.

"who wants chocolate?" tom asked us.

three hands went up while mine stayed in my lap. i was craving any form of food but i won't eat. i can't.

"come on lucy, you always want chocolate" maxxie said as he pushed a kit kat in front of me.

"maxxie i'm not hungry." i pushed it back to him.

"you're never hungry" chris intergected.

"come on babe, we can split it" he broke the chocolate in half before placing it in my hand.

i ate the two bars i was given, wincing when i bit down on it.

think of all the calories. think of how it's just sitting inside your stomach. think of all the fat you're going to have after this.

"i need to go to the toilet, i'll be back in a sec" i said before rushing to the bathroom.

when i got there i locked the door and bent down in front of the toilet. i put two of my fingers on the back of my throat and wiggled them around until i started to gag. i kept going until i managed to throw up all of the chocolate.

i stood up and grabbed the mouthwash from beside the sink, removing the smell and taste of vomit. the toilet was flushed and i stood in front of the mirror analysing every inch of my body.

fat. fat face. fat arms. fat fingers. fat stomach. fat back. fat thighs. fat calves. fat everything. fat. fat. fat. that's all i saw.

"hey lucy what's taking so long" chris called to me.

"the toilet wouldn't flush" i lied.

i made my way back to my friends before sitting next to maxxie.

there are a lot of reason why i needed to be skinny. maxxie was on of them. i didn't want my boyfriend to be ashamed of his fat girlfriend. i wanted him to be able to pick me up effortlessly, i want to be able to wear his tops and jumpers and look tiny in them.

"earth to lucy" i snapped out of my thoughts and saw chris clicking his fingers in front of my face.

"oh sorry, i must've zoned out a little." i blushed in embarrassment.