This Hard Life

Chapter 15: Several Moments

Chapter 15

As Scott drove me to the hospital, he was trying to get me to tell him what was going on. I just, I couldn’t answer. My mind was going at one hundred miles an hour.

What’s going to happen to Grace and me since we’re both still minors?

How’s Grace going to take the fact that our only mother is gone?

I need a job, but where can I get one?

I still have my senior year of school left! How am I going to be able to have a job, go to school, and take care of a little girl, assuming I can still keep her with me, all at the same time?

At some point, Scott and I arrived at the hospital. He was waiting for me to make the first move before he got out of his car. I unbuckled my seatbelt and got out, and he did the same.

Inside, I went and sat down in one of the waiting rooms while Scott went up to the nurse’s desk to ask where to go. A nice nurse talked to him and he came to sit next to me.

“Charlotte, can you look at me for a moment,” he asked and I turned my head towards him. “The nurse told me that we have to wait for your mother’s doctor to come out. He’s busy with other patients at the moment. As soon as he’s free a nurse is going to take us to him.” I nodded in understanding, but I really couldn’t talk. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

I started to shake my head but then I remembered: Grace. I was supposed to pick her up from daycare at 4:00. It was a little bit after four now. “Grace,” I muttered. “I have to pick her up from daycare.”

“I don’t think that that’s a great idea right now. Do you want me to call the daycare and explain everything?” Without waiting for my answer, he took my phone and called Lorna’s daycare after he went outside just to make sure that he wouldn’t be disturbing anybody.

After a while, I was still sitting in the waiting room alone. I couldn’t tell anyone how long I was alone, but by the time that Scott returned to my side, it seemed like it was forever. I just wanted to go see the doctor, dammit!

Eventually a nurse led us to the doctor. In his personal office he explained once more that her disease progress so much faster than expected. I listened to everything that he was saying, but it just didn’t sink into my brain. My mind was still trying to recover from the fact that my mom was gone.

And she was never going to come back to me.

Suddenly, anger built up inside of me. I wasn’t mad at her or the doctors. I was mad at myself. I was so wrapped up in my personal problems that I seemed to forget that Mom only had a short time left to live. On the one night that I didn’t come to visit her in the hospital would’ve been the last time to see her.

I continued to listen as the doctor explained that he called our lawyer and told him the news. Apparently there’s going to be a meeting between our lawyer, the doctor, and I tomorrow morning. Once again, I listened to the doctor, but I wasn’t paying much attention.

Once the doctor was done talking to me, I was told that I could go to the morgue to see Mom. I passed up on the offer. Instead, Scott drove me home. He told me that Grace was going to stay another night with Lorna.

In my living room, I sat down. I buried my face in my hands and tried not to cry. Scott came closer to me and wrapped one of his arms around my shoulders. He didn’t try to say anything. He was just there so I wasn’t alone. At one point, my strength gave up and I started crying. Scott pulled me closer to him, and now my face was making his neck and brown t-shirt wet.

We stayed like that for a while; close together and silent. Scott moved his head so that he could kiss mine. I was grateful for all that he has done, especially since I blew him off this morning at school.

“Charlotte, I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“Don’t say that. Don’t say that you’re sorry for my loss and ask me how I’m doing. I just can’t take that right now,” I said, but as I said it I kept my head in the same place as it was before he said anything.

“I wasn’t going to say any of that stuff. I’m trying to apologize for what happened yesterday afternoon and this morning.”

This time I moved my head. You should be sorry Scott! I wanted to scream. The anger that I had in the hospital resurfaced. He was the reason why I couldn’t visit Mom last night. He was the one who was sitting with his ex yesterday. He is the reason why!

“I’m glad you’re sorry,” I suddenly said without meaning to, but it felt good to say it aloud.

“What?”

Now, with anger and rage inside me, ready to explode, I stood up in front of him. “You’re the reason that everything went wrong!”

“Charlotte, that’s insane.”

“Not really,” I said. “It’s because of you that I could see my own mother for one moment before she died the next afternoon. If I went to see her, it would have been about twelve hours since I last seen her. I wouldn’t have to hope that she’s not mad at me because I couldn’t see her last night.”

“Whoa, it’s not my fault. You could have still gone to see her. I did nothing yesterday to say otherwise!”

“We had plans! We were going to see each other before your interview! Sure I was a little late, but that was because of my stupid art teacher! And when I did show up you were making googly eyes with your ex!”

“My ex?”

“Yes, Rachel, unless there’s someone else I should know about!”

“How do you know about her? I’ve never mentioned her to you.”

“Your mother.”

“Okay, yes that was Rachel, but you don’t understand!” He was trying to talk to me, but I just walked into the kitchen. I didn’t want to hear any of his excuses.

“I understand enough, Scott,” I said quietly. “You still have a flame glowing for your ex-girlfriend. There’s nothing to say to that.”

Scott came in the kitchen. Instead of giving me my space, he came right up to me. “I loved Rachel, but she broke my heart. And besides, I love my new girlfriend,” he whispered.

That did it. Once again, I broke down crying in Scott’s arms. He just held me. Scott tried to sooth me by whispering comforting words in my ears and keeping my brown hair out of my eyes.

When the tears passed, I was still being held by Scott. I looked up at him, and he leaned down to kiss me softly.

“I’m sorry,” I muttered.

“Don’t be. I know how hard losing a parent is. You feel angry, and you need to let it out.”

“I love you,” I said, and instead of replying, he kissed me again.

This time, this kiss was filled with more passion than the last. I started to lose my balance, so Scott backed me up so that I was leaning on the kitchen counter. He continued to kiss my lips until he started to kiss my neck. Instead of touching my hair, he was rubbing his hand up and down my thigh.

I thought that this was going to continue to go on forever, but Scott stopped kissing me. His beautiful eyes bore into mine with such passion and intensity that it’s impossible to describe. Suddenly, he picked me up and took me into my bedroom.

There, he carefully laid me down on the bed so that my head was on my pillow. He also lay down next to me. Thankfully, he took my body in his hands and started to kiss me once more. Things started to heat up. The next thing I know is that I am lying on top of him with my hand under his shirt. His hand is lightly touching my butt. Without a moment’s second thought, I went and took his shirt off, and with success.

I kissed him again, but he stopped me in my tracks. “Charlotte, what are we doing here? Are you sure this is what you want?” I nodded, and he looked hesitant to continue.

 Suddenly, hands are at my waist and they drag my shirt up. Soon, my shirt is off of me, exposing my chest. Scott looks at me as if he wants to memorize every single detail. I lean in to kiss him as we try to help the other to get rid of the excess clothing.

Together, Scott and I spend a night of pure love, passion, and several moments of perfect happiness.