My Saviour (student / teacher romance)

Chapter 10

"What in the world happened to you?" Grandma asks, grabbing my chin and moving my face this way and that, obviously inspecting the forming bruise. I didn't stop to think I'd bruise after the attack but it makes sense.

"Nothing," I snap, taking a step back so she's not looking so critically at me.

I go to turn away but Grandma grabs me by the top of my arm and spins me around. Her eyes are full of anger and I know she's thinking I'm into bad things.

"Natasha, if you are involved with bad people, tell me now."

I sigh and look away, shaking my head. "I'm not in with bad people, Grandma." Deciding to tell her the truth, I look up again and explain, "I got lost today after school. I cut through a park and got attacked by some druggie."

Grandma's eyes widen. "What did he do to you?" She looks me up and down urgently. "If he raped you I'll take you straight to the police. In fact, I should take you there anyway. Do you know what he looks like?"

"He didn't rape me, Grandma." I roll my eyes. I can't bring myself to say how close he was. "He grabbed my arm and when I tried to flee he smacked me in the eye. That's all. One of the teachers from school stepped in and the guy ran away. I didn't get a good look at him though so there's no point in going to the police." This is a lie, I will never forget that face but I don't want any dealings with the police. Not after last time. They didn't believe me about Kayla's death so why would they believe me about being attacked.

This is a different state, Natasha. The police might be different here.

The thought holds some merit but I'm still too scared to do anything so I don't say anymore. Grandma is still staring at me, her eyes full of concern, but I can tell she's weakening. Finally she nods and takes a step back. "Well okay then but if it happens again we are going to, okay? Make sure you put something cold on your eye too, it will help the swelling."

I nod and sigh from relief. Grandma knows what a bad time I had after my sister's death so I think she also understands my fear of police.

"I am going to start on dinner," she says, walking to the kitchen. "Come and help me. I have some things to talk to you about."

Joining her in the kitchen, she gets me to peel and chop potatoes while she starts on the rest. She tells me about the appointment with her lawyer. Apparently he's interested in my case and wants to see me. I'm not sure how I feel about this but if Grandma trusts him then I suppose I can too.

When we sit down to dinner an hour later, I don't say anything. I'm thinking about Kayla and the lawyer, wondering if this pain will ever go away. I haven't said whether I'll agree to see him yet or not but I know Grandma is waiting for an answer. I'm glad she's not pushing me though. It's scary.

It's funny though, as we sit together eating in silence, I feel surprisingly happy. Despite my turmoils with Mr Gregson, my life is pretty okay at the moment. I like living with Grandma, more than I thought I would and I even have a boyfriend...well an unofficial one but still. I'm actually being a teenager like I know I should be. It's great.

Yet deep down there's still darkness looming. It's lying dormant, waiting for something to crack. For my life to be screwed up again. It's like I'm being controlled by someone else. Like the emotions I'm feeling aren't my own. The only real emotions I feel on my own are those I experience around Mr Gregson. Everything else is forced but it's not me forcing them. My body is doing its own thing. It's weird.

At the same time it's scary because this has happened before. The same day I tried to kill myself. It happens whenever I'm heading for a breakdown. My body takes over and when I succumb to the darkness, I have no control over what happens. I go ape crazy like there's a person inside me controlling me. I'm scared of it happening again because I don't want to lose Grandma's trust. Yet I don't know how to control it.