There's Always Trouble In Paradise

Kevin's World Changes

Kevin's POV

"I can not go with you. I got accepted to a different college that would fit my needs and wants better. I have decided to go. I am not going with you."

Who knew that just a few sentences could shatter my heart completely. I couldn't think of anything, other than to run away from this hurt, and I did. I started putting in my clothes and get off the couch where Edd was still laying.

"I have to go."

I let my feet carry me quickly to the door, thankfully my shoes slipped on easily, and then I was out the door before Edd could stop me. Part of me wanted to be stop and just to hold him to me, hoping all of this was a bad dream. Thankfully the logical part of my brain knew that this was reality, and if I stayed any longer then I would just get my heart broken even more. And thankfully, me feet moved quickly with my brain and did not stop until I got into the safety of my own house.

As soon as the door clicked shut, the tears came out. I'm not much of a crier, and no one I've dated ever made me cry before. But I've never loved someone like Edd before. I would do anything for him, just to keep him happy and safe, even if it meant breaking my own heart. Which, I guess, I'm in that situation now.

"But I want to be selfish."

I barely choked out those words before I was back against the way, sitting on my sorry ass, crying at the front door. I didn't want to cry, but I couldn't stop. I never felt this ache in my chest before. My heart feels like it's aching from pain, my chest is tight, my head is spinning, and my breathing is so unsteady, I wouldn't be surprised if it stopped. So this is what having your heart broken feels like. Now I feel awful for breaking so many girls hearts. I would wish this feeling on my worse enemy.

"Kev.. Are you okay?"

My heart sank even more.

"Fuck. I forgot he was home."

I looked up to see my dad. Not as drunken as I would expect by this time. He didn't even have a beer in his hand or a bottle of liquor to his mouth. He actually looked pretty sober, concerned, but sober.

I took a deep breath and wiped my tears with my sleeve. "Yeah dude, just a hard day."

His lips pressed together as the concern expression stayed on his face and grew with trying to figure out I was like this. I guess it hit him or something, cause next thing I know, he's sitting down on the floor next to me.

"Is this about your boyfriend?"

Well that's a first, he never would call Edd my boyfriend. His favorite things to call Edd was a fag, queer, and little fucker.

I leaned my head back against the wall. "Something like that dad. Don't worry about it."

"Kev, tell me what happened dude."

I looked over at my dad with confusion. Even when I dated girls and broke up with them, he never asked him about them. Just wanted to make sure I wore a condom when I fucked them so I didn't make him a granddad.

"Who are you and what did you do to my dad?"

He laughed!? I haven't heard my dad laugh since I was a kid.

"It's me dipshit. Now tell me what happened with you two faggots."

Ah, there he is.

I shrugged and turned my attention back to the ceiling. "I don't know dude. One minute things are perfect and going to plan. Next mind Edd is telling me that he's leaving me. He's going to his dream college and isn't coming with me anymore."

When I glanced back over to my dad, I was surprised to see he was actually listening. Nodding his head in understanding, keeping his eyes on me while I spoke, and I could see he was even trying to think of ways to talk to me about what was happening.

"I'm sorry Kev, you seemed like you really liked this kid."

"I'm in love with him dad."

His expression dropped into something more serious. "Really?"

"Really. Dad, I know you don't get it, or like it, but." I pulled out this small ring I had kept in my pocket. It wasn't anything special, but it was what I could afford with my small part time job I took up after school the last few months. "I want to marry that boy."

My dads eyes grew wide and I started bracing myself for the worst. "Kevin, you just graduated high school. You're too young to be thinking about marrying some fling."

"He's not a fling dad. I've had feelings for him for years but was always too afraid to act up on it. I was always afraid he would pick up on my feelings for him, so like the dumbass I am, I bullied him. I didn't want him finding out and being grossed out by me. Even after all the shit I put that kid through, he still kissed me back. He still allowed me to be lucky enough to call him mine almost a year and a half ago. He allowed me to laugh and love and grow with him. He allowed me to be his first lover dad, and he felt like mine. I don't see myself with anyone else but him. I know he's the one."

My dad moved his back against the wall and looked forward, thinking. I hung my head, waiting for his hell. But the only thing there was, was awkward silence until he decided to speak.

"You know Kev. I may not understand it. But you really love him this much, and he loves you. Then you two should be able to work this out."

"I know dad. He wants to follow his parents foot steps with becoming a doctor. He has his life planned out. I don't, and I don't want to hold him back. He let me go, so I need to let him go."

My dad nodded his head and then patted me on the shoulder. I flinched out of habit; it's been forever since he touched me out of kindness. I saw his face tighten when I flinched, but it relaxed again quickly.

"You're a good kid Kev. I don't know where you got this from. Your mother maybe. I'm sorry things couldn't work out with your boyfriend."

"Thanks dad."

"No problem dude."

My dad got up and went to the kitchen, coming back with a beer in his hand and handing it to me. I'll admit, it kind of threw me for a loop. Even though my dad is an alcoholic and we have more than enough alcohol around the house. He never wanted me to drink and if I came home drunk he would give me hell. Maybe now I understand more he doesn't want me following in his footsteps.

He handed me the beer and sat back down next to me. "You're more of an adult now than I thought. You had a hard day, so just relax."

"Are you sure? Where's yours?"

"I'm sure. And I'm not drinking today dude. Tell me about your boyfriend and anything else you may need to get off your chest."

Even though my heart was still aching and I was still broken and hurt. I couldn't help but to smile. My dad was really trying to be a good day and it meant a lot. It's been a long ass time since I was able to sit next to my and talk to him.

"Thanks."

I opened the beer and sat back, taking a good, big sip before starting to go off on my rants. We sat there for a good three hours with me talking and my dad mainly listening. He gave words of encouragement, he asked questions, he seemed interested it, and he was being the support system that I needed. Nothing could take away this pain I've been feeling for Edd. But I gotta admit, this helped some.