There's Always Trouble In Paradise

Knives

This summer did not got as planned at all. There was no long night to watch stars, there was no parties, no adventures, no laughs, no kisses, no comfort. There was no Kevin I tried everything I could think of to contact him, I called him, texted him, even went over to his house. But the only time I saw him since that day was when I ran into him at the grocery store. Even then, he just nodded at me and walked out the store, leaving all his things behind. Looking back on it now, I wish I would've went after him.

The end of summer is here, I leave to college tonight, and I still haven't been with my Kevin. I did not want to break up with him, but the reaction he had and his actions he has been having shows that we are broken up. This is my first breakup, and honestly, I'm not sure what to think about it. It is a confusing feeling to have. I can not understand how I can feel both numb and hurt so bad at the same time. It does not seem like a humanly possible feeling to have.

My body let out all the tension I was holding in with a long, loud sigh. I looked around my mainly empty room, just a few boxes left for me to put in the car. This was it. Tomorrow would be a brand new start on a new and bright future for me. It wasn't the original plan as last year, but it was a plan I was happy with.

...Right?

Right Eddward. This is where you want to go in life. This is where you belong. This will make you happy. 

"But how happy will I be without Kevin?"

My thoughts were quickly cut short when I heard my father yelling up the stairs. "Eddward, are you almost ready boy? We don't want to be late!"

"On my way father! Just have a few more boxes!"

I scooped the boxers that were left in my room in my arms and made my way down stairs. My father was waiting at the bottom of the stairs and took the boxes from me. Even though I resembled my father greatly, he was much more fun than me. I'm sure if I put in the effort like Kevin wanted me to when he would take me with him on his runs. I would end up building muscle like my father. I was much like my mother though, more interested in books than finding a way to enhance my physical appearance, as silly as that sound.

"Eddward, isn't Kevin going to see you off?" My mother spoke in such sweet words as she gathered a few goodie bags she made for me to help my first few days of college go smoother. I have no idea what she put in them, but I would not turn them down.

"No mother, I think Kevin is too busy for me today."

"Would you like to wait for a moment when he may be able to see you?"

"Mother, I do not think I will be seeing him today."

"What a shame."

"Eddward, we're going to be late!" My father yelled from outside by the car. My father hardly raised his voice, and even though this was not in a mean nature way, it still caught me off guard. My father hates being late, which is where I get my need to be timely.

"We better go before your father has a heart attack." My mother handed me a few of the bags she made up, and I followed her out the door.

I smiled as my father held the door open for my mother, just a simple gesture, but I don't believe I ever saw my mother open her own car door if my father was around. I do believe I've never seen her hold any door open with my father around. He treated her like his queen and it was an inspiring thing to watch while growing up, and it still is today. As a child I knew I always wanted what my parents had; just with a member of the same sex and not opposite. I did get to experience such simple but loving actions for awhile with Kevin. He would always call me his prince during late cuddle nights when he did not care what corny words fell for him lips. But those have ended, and I've missed them truly.