fix you // liam payne

chapter thirty-five // after all.

ellie's pov

"Hey Dr. Vandergelt, have you been in to take Liam's vitals?" Dr. Gerard stops me despite my best efforts to avoid eye contact and act as if I were buried in the folder in my hand. 

"Ah, sorry, I've been running around doing paperwork all day," I lie, "I can ask the nurses if you'd like me to," I offer, trying my hardest to keep my excuses nonchalant and discreet. 

I can see the surprise on Dr. Gerard's face that I wasn't jumping at the opportunity to help a patient. It wasn't like me at all. 

But things get complicated when you're dating the patient and slowly the news is leaking out and you can't quite get yourself to face him. 

"I can ask one of them," He shakes his head with a small smile, "Don't forget we have physical therapy at four," He reminds me of the thing I have been dreading all day. 

I've managed to keep myself too busy to face Liam on my own. I'm usually accompanied with the other doctors and barely look him in the eye. I can tell Liam's avoiding me as well. He hasn't tried to get me alone at all. Normally he pages one of the nurses in and asks if I can check something mundane, and as charming as Liam is, it always works. 

This week is different. After the boys walked in on us, I can't shake the sick feeling in my stomach. It's a feeling I remember well from my childhood. I would get so sick whenever I got in trouble as a little girl. I would actually throw up the moment anyone started to scold me. 

I wasn't in any sort of trouble... yet. But the mere thought of it was enough to make me run to the bathroom. 

"Of course, couldn't forget it," I smiled at him before scurrying away, knowing my poker face can only last for so long. 

I walk past Liam's open door, fast enough that I don't even have the opportunity to look in his direction. But just being near him makes my palms sweaty. My speed decreases as I get further down the hall. I glance through the window of the private waiting room, to see whether or not the other boys are cooped up in there. Their presence has been up in the air, especially in the past week since Niall and his girlfriend broke up.

As I glance through the small window in the door, I catch them all lounging around the room. Half of them sleeping, the other half talking with one another. 

I head off in the direction of the bathroom before any of them spot me. 

I shove myself into one of the stalls, falling back into old habits. It's funny how lonely this place is without Liam to talk to. I really need to get friends. I can't help but to let out a small laugh as I remember every other med student in this hospital hates me to my core. 

Too bad there isn't an app out there like tinder but for hermits like me who can't make friends. Like you could just scroll through and be like 'ooh, you like Harry Potter and pasta? Perfect lets have a ladies night'. 

I groan at how pathetic I sound. I'm probably the saddest sight in the world right now. I try to pull my feet up on the toilet seat so I can just curl up in a ball, but my hips are too wide and my butt is too big for anything else to sit on the rim of the toilet seat. 

So instead I bury my face in my hands, wishing I were anywhere but here right now. 

If young pre-teen me could see me, she'd be so disappointed. Whenever I imaged my future doctor self, I was also successful in every other aspect of my life. I had a great clique of best friends, like Sex and the City style type of girl friends, and my wardrobe was much better. 

The only thing I managed to accomplish from pre-teen me's dreams was landing a smoking hot boyfriend. But even that seems as if it were sitting on rocky ground as of right now.