fix you // liam payne

chapter six // embarrassed.

liam's pov

Slowly as my eyes begin to focus in on my surroundings,  I'm not quite sure if I'd rather be sleeping - and stuck replaying the events of the horrible accident over and over in my dreams - or awake, forced to live with the aftermath. I stare blankly up at the ceiling, listening to the beeping of my own heart being monitored, silently wishing that it would just stop and all this pain would be put to an end. 

My negative thoughts have been a routine to my mornings; waking up and falling asleep have been the most difficult for me. I have too much time for my mind to handle; too much freedom for my thoughts to wander into dark alleyways of my mind. 

I try my hardest to pull myself out of those infectious dark thoughts, knowing they'll only bring me down further. I close my eyes and focus on happy thoughts. 

Immediately my mind wanders to Ellie, wondering if she'll be working today. A smile faintly forms at the edges of my lips as I recall her spending quite some time with me yesterday, just talking and joking around. She told me that I was such a high profile case, that Dr. Frenette cleared all her other patients, allowing her to solely focus on me. 

That's enough to take the dark shadows out of my mind, making it a tad easier to breathe. 

Though I have to remind myself that Ellie is my doctor. And judging by the way she's so passionate about her job, she wouldn't do anything to risk it. And that includes having any sort of relationship that was not strictly professional.

Ellie is so kind-hearted, I wouldn't be surprised if she was like this with all her patients. There's something so comforting about her. Perhaps it's her great big smile that lights up her entire face, or her big blue eyes that I noticed the moment I met her, or perhaps it's even the way her blonde hair is never neat or perfect, but sticking up in some endearing way.

I can't quite pinpoint it, whatever it is about her that instantly improves my mood. I only hope that it never goes away.

Knowing the drill, I reach over to press the nurse's button, notifying them that I am awake and ready to start my day. I let out a groan, knowing what the day holds for me; rather bland hospital food and the painful changing of my catheter.

It doesn't take long for my nurse - a rather old African American woman that goes by the name of Josie - to enter, wearing a cheerful smile for it being 7am.

"Good morning, handsome," She grins, causing the usual blush to cover my cheeks. Josie is also quite the spit fire. Just because she's old doesn't mean she hasn't been rather cheeky. At least she makes the awful hospital routine a tad interesting. 

"Morning, Josie," I reply in a groggy voice, smiling as much as I can imagine at this time. She places my plate of breakfast on my tray as usual, but instead of sitting down beside me to feed me it, she begins to leave.

"You have some visitors who said they'd be more than happy to help you with breakfast," She explains before I even get the chance to ask her my question. 

I want to object to any of my visitors feeding me, but she's gone before I can even process my own thoughts. I lay there, absolutely helpless, actually wishing Josie would accompany me for breakfast, trying out her pick up lines for me. I'd prefer that truthfully.

But the door swings open again shortly after Josie leaves, revealing four happy boys. They all smile at me, looking quite energized for it being this early. 

"Hey guys," I smile, even though I want them to go right back out there. I hate having them see me like this. I'm their mate, not their child.

"That nurse of yours is a cheeky one," Harry smiles, wearing that stupid dopey little grin of his as he makes his way into the room, shutting the door behind everyone else.