A boy's life (Kuroko no Basuke fanfic - Kise Ryota)

Five

"What?! She wants you back?" I shouted...

Kise...

"Yeah... She told me that she's sorry for what she did and she wants our relationship back."

Kise... had a girlfriend. And she's taking him back. What should I do now? I don't want Kise to leave my side. I don't want him in anyone's possesion. I don't want to see him with other girls. He should just stay with me. I don't want to lose him...

And it strucked me... I gasped in my own thought as I felt like there's an arrow that the stupid cupid just sent through me.

Why should Kise stay by my side when he's not my possesion?

And...

Why am I so afraid to lose him when he's not and will never be mine?

Why wouldn't he be with other girls who's so pretty and girly and choose me? A girl who pretends to be a guy. And what's worse is that...

Why should he chose a girl who lied and pretended as a guy over a cute girl he loved back then?

These thoughts made my eyes sting and my heart felt something unwanted...

Pain.

I didn't even confirmed my true feelings already but this crushing pain was all over me. It would devour me sooner or later.

This was an exaggerated style of "Being rejected even before confessing".

My hope was blown away even before I confirmed my true feelings about him.

I felt tears forming in the corner of my eyes but I blinked it away before it fall.

I don't want Kise to see me crying right now... And he'd think that I'm weird if I'd just cry out of the blue.

Why does it hurt so much?

Why do we humans have to find another person to fall inlove with?

If such emotion didn't exist... I wouldn't have to feel so messed up like this.

I wish I could just rip my heart off my chest because it's currently digging its own grave while beating so fast and loud that I think Kise would hear it if this awkward silence continues on. I think my own heart would be the very reason if I'd be brought to a hospital for it broke my ribs... But I hope it won't.

"Narucchi... what's the problem? Are you even listening? Or I just wasted some saliva just to tell the story? Don't you know wasting my saliva is not good? FanGirls want to taste that! Directly from my mouth! Oi! Are you even listening to me?"

I just stared at his mouth. If his saliva is so precious...

"Then why don't you let me taste it?" I said with my brain out of my skull and did something erotic(ghad... watta term) to Kise...

(guys... I am warning you... please don't hate me. Haha. Dunworry... this is clean. â׏﹏●)

I came closer and pinned him to a tree. My left hand on the side of his head and my right on his shoulder. Our faces were so close to each other and with an inch or 2.54 centimeters our noses will brush againts each other.

(We're currently on the topic of converting in chemistry so the thought just came into my mind. I am not sure about that though... Convert one inch to cm... is it 2.54? okay. bye. I am too talkative. Hell yea.)

We're so close right now. I felt the urge to come closer but... Ghad that was way too aggressive and... sexy... and... erotic...........? Agh! Just stop already. Don't think about things like that! You have to think about some excuse about why you did thia thing to him!