A boy's life (Kuroko no Basuke fanfic - Kise Ryota)

Sixteen

Silence has been hanging around with me ever since forever. And yeah, the girls went to Mikoto's house which is nearby as the note made by Hana says. It was placed in cabinet near the stairs so I saw it earlier.

Well, I shouldn't mind about that now. I should mind about this beautiful, angry, blonde guy who is infront of me. I really don't know where to start but... I think I should apologize first.

"Kise... I'm sorry for lying to you." I gulped. Waiting for his reaction. He closed his eyes. I think he's still angry and tries not to burst his anger out.

God, is he that furious? I just want to cry now.

"I'm sorry for keeping my secret..." I looked down to my fingers and made the "Incy Wincy Spider" hand gestures but failed eventually. I peeked at his reaction and continued, "Sorry for lying to everyone."

His eyes were now open. He has so many to say but he stops himself from speaking or even shouting at me. He's trying to listen to my explanation.

"You know, I really didn't want to lie to all of you and pretend as a guy--"

"Then why?" He cuts me off and inhales and exhales. It's a miracle for him to stop talking after his question. I thought he'd scold me already.

"Well, I had my hair cut short and I just wear jeans and shirts when I enrolled here so the president thought I was a guy." I explained. I looked up to him again and he's waiting for me to explain further. "He knew I was good in basketball and wanted me to pretend as a guy to help the other members of the team to get better. He asked me to train with you guys and help you with your flaws."

That's true. When I reported to the principal that I'm already in the team, he told me to help the members to get better. He also mentioned that I won't be participating in big competitions if ever.

"So? Why did you agree?" He asked, his hands covering his mouth as his palm supports his chin.

I opened my mouth but nothing came out. Shit. I bit my lip.

Why did I agree? 

I felt a pang of guilt inside me. I agreed because it's thrilling. 

I licked my lips because it's getting dry as I reply, "Because--"

"Do you think you'd meet prince charming like those in some man made stories if you go to school as a guy?" He mocked and my eyes went wide, "No!" I shouted, defending myself. I'm kinda angry at him, "Why would you think like that?! Do you think I'm that kind of person?!" I exhaled because of exasperation. I'm being mocked here because of someone I'm not.

Also... I'm being judged.

"Why?" Kise spoke, still with his mocking tone, "Aren't you that kind of person?"

Damn. "No, I'm not!" I changed my position, "Kise, I'm not that cruel--"

"Not that cruel?" He brought down his hand and placed his arms on top of his knees. "You're cruel enough to lie to the girls who had a crush on you." He said and it's like an arrow that went straight to my heart.

"You're cruel enough to lie to your fangirls, to your team mates, to your school, to your friends..." Every word matches the hard, hurtful beats in my chest. It's beating me.

He smiled... a cruel, hurtful, tormenting smile as he said the last thing that would kill me, "You're cruel enough to lie to me." There's a block inside my throat and it makes me feel like crying.

Shit. I know that to myself. I don't want to hear that from anyone.. especially Kise. Shit.

I opened my mouth to speak but my throat is not cooperating with me. There's this choking feeling that stops me from speaking without bursting into tears.