Crush *ON HOLD*

[Ch. 1]

Kirstie walked into school, meeting her best friends, Scott and Mitch. The three walked to her locker to get her things. They had all had Trigonometry 2 together. As they were walking together, Avi walked by. Kirstie gave him a small smile. He just ignored her and walked off with Kevin, his new-found friend. Kirstie immediately felt a pain in her chest. She put on a fake, yet believable, smile. She didn't want Scott and Mitch to think that she was hurting. Even though almost everyday when she got home, she felt so terrible about what she did to Avi, that she would go up to her room and cry. Whenever she saw her razor, she always thought about taking out the blades, but never got the courage. She regretted doing it and she always will. She wanted to try and regain their friendship, but doesn't know how. She can't figure out the best way to apologize. Scott interrupted her thoughts.
"Kirst? Are you deaf or something? We're here. Mitch and I have been trying to get your attention for 5 minutes. What were you even thinking about?" Scott asked curiously.
"Oh, uh, nothing! Just wanted to make sure I got my homework done!" She made up on the spot. Putting on another fake smile.
"Yeah, okay." Scott said, not totally believing it. Kirstie let out a breathe and walked into the classroom.
--
After a couple classes, they went to lunch.
"Ugh. School lunch." Mitch groaned and rolled his eyes.
"Agreed." Scott replied.
"I'm gonna go sit down." Kirstie said quietly, walking off.
"Something is definitely up." Scott said staring at Kirstie.
"She has been faking a smile all day." Mitch replied. "It's obvious that seeing Avi is what made her sad all day." He continued.
"I'm gonna talk to her." Scott said walking off. Mitch, being startled by the sudden walk off from Scott, jogged to catch up.
--
"Kirstie, we know something's up. What's wrong?" Scott said, sitting down.
"What? Nothing! I'm perfectly fine!" Kirstie replied, defensively.
"Quit the act! It's obvious! If you miss Avi then just go talk to him! We care about you, Kirst, and we don't like seeing you like this!" Mitch quickly cut in.
"I don't need to be babied! I just need to be alone, okay?!" She started to raise her voice. "I just need to leave!" The whole lunch room was quiet now. Avi walked in as it got silent, except for Kirstie. She turned around to go to the bathroom, and saw Avi standing there. Tears started to silently fall down her cheeks. She ran to out the front doors, instead of to the bathroom. I need to get out of here. I'm done. I can't handle seeing him so angry at me anymore. She thought while she jogged to her car.
--
Avi saw her run out and quickly decided to run after her. He had never seen her this upset before. Just as she was opening her car door, she noticed him.
"Kirstie! Where are you going?!" He questioned as he quickly jogged to her car.
"I just need some space."
"I know when your lying, Kirst. Tell me the truth."
"You want the truth?!" She yelled. "I can't stand seeing you look at me with so much hate! Every single day! I hate what I did to you and I wish that I could undo it, but I can't! I get home and cry almost every day because I hate myself so much! There's the truth, Avi! There's what you asked for!" She yelled and started to get into the car. Avi stood there in shock, tears threatening to spill.
"Kirstie.." He whispered. She drove off without another word.
--
She had enough. She took them out. Now there is blood in her sink. She sat down and cried. Like every day. Except now she added to her routine. She cleaned up the mess and blasted music. She was home alone after all. Just like always.