A Forbidden Love (REMASTERED 2022)

CHAPTER 7: Remastered

Rose

      "And the kappa is more commonly found in Mongolia, which will be vital information to know if you are to do well on this exam," Professor Wulfric said quickly at the front of the class.
      I frantically blew a strand of hair out of my face and   struggled to keep up with him as I jotted down notes on my parchment. My quill kept running out of ink as I was attempting to write anything that might be on the exam. And knowing Wulfric , everything would be on the exam.
      I'd be throwing myself into my studies more so then usual, staying up late reading my textbooks and going over my notes. I'd been spending more time alone then with anyone else. If I was with Cheyanne or Albus for too long, Scorpius was bound to show up sooner or later. And I just couldn't face him. I tapped my quill on the parchment furiously as it ran out of ink once more. I dipped it again and carried on scribbling as Wulfric sped up the pace of his lecture.
      It had been two weeks since Scorpius and I had kissed, and I'd avoided him like the plague ever since. Not because I didn't want to see him, I didn't want what would come with seeing him: confronting the fact that we had kissed and agree to be only friends for the rest of eternity. That I couldn't do. Also, the fact that I knew I couldn't look into those silver eyes and not fall into him.
      I had to admit, I missed him. I missed him so much and I missed hanging out in the common room with Cheyenne and Albus and Scorpius late at night. I missed the way he laughed, the way the sun reflected off of his eyes, his stupid egotistical attitude, that cheeky grin that made me want to...SNAP!
     I lifted my limp quill that had snapped in half, glumly. I threw it down on the desk and gave up on taking notes for the day. I sat back and considered my situation. Face Scorpius and participate in the hardest conversation of my life or continue to avoid him and drift away from my family. What options I had. I sunk into my chair and listened to the rest of Wulfric's lecture before he dismissed us. I gathered my things and walked out of the room.
      "Hey stranger!"
      I turned around and gave Blade a small smile. He was leaned against the wall outside of Wulfric's classroom, grinning like crazy. I hadn't seen him since we had gone to Hogsmeade together. I hadn't been avoiding him, but with everything going on, it simply wasn't the right time to be dealing with such matters. Blade pushed off the wall and walked toward me.
      "Hi Blade," I said, adjusting my things in my arms.
      "Oh, let me help you there," he offered, reaching for  the books. I stepped back before he could touch them.
      "Um- that's okay, that's okay, I can manage," I told him quickly. A small frown appeared on his face.
      "Are you alright?" he asked. I sighed and tucked my hair behind my ear. I wasn't even remotely prepared for this conversation at the moment.
     "No, Im really not. I...I think you're great, really great. You're kind, smart, funny, handsome," I went on. He grinned at my compliments but then faltered.
      "But then what's wrong?"
      I shook my head and touched his arm gently,  "Nothing is wrong with you. You seem like a fantastic guy. But..."
      "It's Scorpius, isn't it?" he asked, tilting his head back with a heavy sigh. I rubbed my hand down my face and groaned. I couldn't believe my situation. Here I was, pushing this perfectly good guy away because I couldn't get Scorpius out of my head. It was almost criminal.
     "I saw the way you looked at him during the Quidditch game and I just thought- well I thought I'd better get a move on and ask you out before I missed my chance. Looks like I already did," he cracked a sad smile.
     "Oh Merlin...Blade, it's...it's really more me than anything else. I just need to figure out what I want. What I need," I told him. He frowned and looked down, giving a small nod.
      "I just...I...," he started but trailed off hesitantly. I tilted my head to the side. We'd been having a very difficult conversation and now he looked like he needed to tell me a piece of information that might save my life.
      "What is it?" I asked seriously. He swallowed hard and looked around to make sure we were alone.
      "Listen...I love Scorpius like a brother, he's great. But...he's wishy washy. He never knows what he wants and can never make up his mind. One day he wants Florence and then it's Elizabeth. It's like he's never satisfied and I know he's just figuring things out but it hurts people. I feel bad saying this about him, he's one of my best friends. But it's true, I just don't want you to get hurt waiting on him," he sighed and looked at me with sad eyes. I looked down and let out a deep exhale, processing what he'd just told me.
      I knew he was right. Scorpius was constantly jumping from girl to girl. He'd never shown any interest (besides a few flirty comments here and there) until he found out I had gone out with Blade. It was as if he only cared because I wasn't looking at him anymore. We'd always had a weird relationship that never really evolved into a friendship. And I'd adored him since I first bumped into him on the train, in my own weird way. I just wished with all my heart things were different between us.
      "You're right, Blade. Scorpius doesn't know what he wants. But that's the thing, neither do I! I know I care for Scorpius but this weird dynamic that's always been between us? I know I don't want that anymore. The lines are so blurred, it's ridiculous. But I do know I'm really tired of focusing on every complication and not what's really important: myself and my family,"I told him, talking to myself more then anything. "I miss them. I haven't been very present lately because I've been in my head. But...they need to be my priority. The people that care about me should always be my priority."
"You know...I care about you," Blade said sheepishly. My face softened as I stared at him. He did care about me. The way he looked at me with the softest hazel eyes was enough to make you melt. His body language was open and inviting. Not to mention he was tall, standing five inches above me. But when I gazed into his eyes, I felt...normal. There was no tension or electricity between us. There was no longing to dive at him and never let him go. There was no intensity in his stare that made my stomach tie into knots. There was...none of what Scorpius gave me.
"I know you do and...that's why I need you as my friend," I said quietly. He pursed his lips and nodded his head slowly before his mouth stretched into a smile.
"I'll take it. But just do you know...if you ever change your mind about this friends thing...you know where to find me," he muttered. And then he bent down and kissed my cheekbone softly before pulling away and waking off. I turned and watched him go, a small smile on my face. Because I finally knew what I wanted.