BTS ONE SHOTS

Namjoon fluff

*TRIGGER WARNING* This oneshot involves a panic attack - do not read on if this could trigger your beautiful mind - all the love.

You were hiding in your closet with a torch, your knees tucked up to your chest. Your breathing was unsteady and you could feel your hands shaking.

You never really knew what brought them on, there was never a main cause. Sometimes they just hit you and the only way you knew how to deal with them was by isolating yourself.

"Noona! I'm home," You heard Namjoon shout in the distance, your heard him lock the door. Put his keys on the table. Open the living room door - waiting for your greeting.

You stayed silent. Trying to keep focus on your breathing, frantically wiping your eyes and just hoping he wouldn't think you were completely crazy when he eventually found you hiding.

"Y/N?" He called out to you again, coming into your bedroom. You saw his shadow pass the closets hatchet doors. He looked around for you, running his hands through his hair with confusion. When he turned, his eyes clocked the closet straight away.

"What on earth are you doing?" He asked, pulling on a scarf that was hanging out the bottom of the door. He pulled the doors open gently with a smile on his face. It slowly turned into a frown when he caught sight of your tear stricken cheeks.

"Hey." You said quietly.

"Jagi! What are you doing in here...have you been crying...are you sad?" He asked, crouching down, trying to pull you out. You stayed as still as possible, pushing his embrace away.

"I needed space."

"Well, I wouldn't exactly call this spacious..." He said, seeing the pain when you tried a smile. "Can I squeeze in?" He asked. You nodded, pulling your feet up tighter, he sat opposite you in a bundle. Closing the door behind him.

"Sorry," you whispered, not quite knowing why you were apologising.

"You don't have to be sorry Jagi, are you okay?"

"This happens sometimes, I feel like, I can't breathe." You felt the need to speak quietly, as if someone might have heard you otherwise. He stayed silent for a long time.

"How long have you been in here?" He asked, he uncurled your legs and rested them on his, gently stroking your thigh.

"I don't know...a while." You said. You realised you'd had your eyes closed the whole time. When you opened them you saw the look of worry on Namjoons face, he was biting his lip softly, his brow furrowed.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked softly.

"Everything...nothing...dark things Joonie...things I feel bad about." You said quietly, trying to keep yourself from crying.

"What do you mean dark things?" His eyes widened.

"I feel numb, like I don't want to be here, ways of getting out...of this numbness-"

"Jagi don't." He whispered.

"I'm so sorry." You let out a sob. Burying your head in your hands. Namjoon shifted, opening the closet door and pulling you both out. He cradled you in his lap, stroking your hair until your had done crying.

"Please never think of things like that," he whispered against your skin, planting kisses along with his words. "It breaks my heart to think you go through this." His voice was heavy.

"I can't promise anything, I can't control it..." You said, your voice was dull and broken as you leant against his now tear soaked shirt.

"Okay, I understand." He said, holding you closer against his chest. "But promise me one thing?" He tried to tilt your chin to look at him.

"Joonie I-"

"Please YN. One thing." His voice was serious now.

"What?" You said softly, struggling to keep your eyes on his.

"If you ever feel like this again, I don't care where I am, what I'm doing. It doesn't matter whether we are in different time zones or if I'm in the middle of practise or at a fansign or whatever. You have to call me, you have to let me know. I will try my best to be there for you no matter whether we are together or apart. Please Jagi?" His voice was thick as he spoke. He rest his nose in your hair, pressing his eyes closed.

"But you won't be able to answer if you're busy, I don't want to burden you with this Namjoon." You tried to push off him but he pulled you back.

"No. Promise me YN. Now." He said seriously, making dead eye contact with you.

"Okay. I don't want to get in the way that's all."

"If my girl is having sad thoughts then I want to know. I can't have you thinking like that. Ever. You're worth too much."

"Joonie..." You tried to disagree but his glance hardened.

"Don't." He warned, pulling you close again. You were still sat on his lap, his arms squeezing you tightly. "I love you." He whispered then pressed a kiss against your cheek.

"Thank you." You said, snuggling into the crook of his neck. You eventually calmed down to the sound of his heartbeat.