shattered memories ; Lucaya {✔️}

Better Left Unsaid (13)

*one week later*

(Penelope's pov)

The words I had always dreaded came out of Harper's mouth.

Family tree project.

How am I supposed to do a motherfucking family tree project when I don't remember my damn family!

I turn to Lucas. He was smiling. Of course he was he had a perfect fucking family the little.....

No. He never did anything to me, I shouldn't be upset he has a good family. What kind of friend would I be if I did get mad? A terrible one. I'm just mad at myself.

"Penelope, you drifted off into la-la land again." Says Lucas.

I smile sweetly and snap my pencil. He smiled.

"Okay maybe not la-la land...." he trailed off.

I looked down and fiddled with my fingers. I really didn't want to do this stupid project. Lucas was saying something but I wasn't listening. How could I get out of this one? What lie could I tell.

But for the first time, I don't want to lie. Not to Lucas, at least. I feel a hand on my shoulder.

"Seriously what's wrong." says Lucas staring me dead in the eye.

"I- I don't know. I'm sorry I really don't want to do this project and I know it's stupid and I don't want to be the reason you fail but Lucas I just can't." I look down, embarrassed.

"But why?" He asks. I shake me head.

"Some things are better left unsaid." I sadly smile and look down.

"It's okay. It's just one assignment." He reassures me.

(Lucas pov)

"Some things are better left unsaid." Penelope sadly smiled and looked down.

"It's okay. It's just one assignment." I Try To reassure her. She looks up at me with bright eyes.

"Thank you so much. I'm sorry it's just- it's just- I really can't. Anyway what should we do for the rest of class?"

She sounded like she was about to cry. But then she took a breath and changed the subject. Everyone did that. When something hurts we just changed the subject.

Soon enough the bell rings. We leave for lunch. Penelope and i Decide to go to a cafe.

"Why?" I ask.

Lucas stop.

"Why what?" She Asks.

Lucas don't do this.

"Why wouldn't you do the project? It's just a family tree " I say.

Stop before you say something wrong.
"Lucas this will be better off left alone." She insists.

"Bullshit. Tell me why. Why do I not know anything about you?" I demand.

Lucas shut up your going to hurt her.

"Please I don't want to talk about it." She says. I slam my first on the table.

Don't do this don't break her trust...

"Goddammit tell me! What's so bad about your family?!" I say, raising my voice.

"I DON'T FUCKING HAVE ONE!"

And just like that she was gone.

*at dorms*

Goddammit I'm so stupid! Why'd I have To push her like That? What Even was the point? What was I going to gain from that? I should've listened. She said she didn't want to talk about it. I probably just shattered her trust. Why do I always have to find a way to loose the people I care about?

Why can't I get it in my fucking head not everyone is Maya. Not everyone will connect with me like she did. Not everyone will have the same life she did. Not everyone will trust me like she did. Because at the end of the day, no one is her.
_____________________________________

HEY GUYS!
So I wrote this at 3am for no reason. But it's based on a song. Okay I'm gonna tell a story it's stupid so you can stop reading.

But music has impacted my life so much. And the music I listen to is not mainstream at all. Like All Time Low, Fall Out Boy, Imagine Dragons, Sleeping With Sirens, My Chemical Romance, Panic! At the Disco, 21 Pilots, A Day To Remember, Mayday Parade, Green Day, Three Days Grace, Peirce The Veil, Black Veil Brides....

Well that's just to name a few. But music is my happy place. It's my Sad place. It's an escape. I Love It. I'd rather loose my left arm than loose my music. I don't know how I would have survived this long without it.

A lot of the bands I love play at the annual music event called Vans Warped Tour. I really wanted to go to the one in 2016 but I never expected that I'd actually be able to. But today my dad said when tickets go up, he'd buy them. I freaked out. This isn't to brag that I'm going but just to say I love you.

All Of You. Thank you so so so so so much for commenting voting and just giving me the smallest amount of attention. If it wasn't for you guys I doubt you'd be reading this here. So I just wanted to say I love you.

Xoxoxo
-Anna