darling

coffee & stephen

The song for this chapter is Love in the Dark by Adele. Enjoy xx

The two sisters sat down at a table at an open air cafe. They were outside surrounded by a small vegetable garden. May always came here, they were an acclaimed cafe during the day and bar at night. To top it off they served the best vegan food in the city and for a place on the corner of two of the busiest streets around, it was surprisingly quiet. For this reason you'd usually see May there with her macbook and a stack of papers related to The Labels next edition.

They had only just ordered, the man serving had actually asked May out once in the winter of last year. She'd politely declined but every so often he'd bring it up again when she visited.

Soy vanilla latte, garden salad and raspberry muffin was May's order for the day. And a mocha latte, BLT open sandwich and a chocolate muffin for Ria after May had recommended it to her.

'So stephen?' Ria prompted right as a waitress delivered their coffees.

Although May had somewhat hoped she'd forget about the previous conversation, she also knew that they lived together now. Things like this needed to be shared, hopefully they'd also act as a bit of wisdom for Ria when it comes to her choices in men.

'So Stephen was like way older than me. At the time I was 17 and studying at high school. I'd met him through a friend, Kaylee. He was friends with her parents. Kaylee's parents had divorced and her dad had found another girlfriend who he had married and had a little girl with. She was, at the time, only five. She was in kindergarten and about to head into primary school the following year, so her parents had wanted to make sure she had friends around her that were intending on going to the same school. To make the transition easier, you know? So yeah one afternoon after school I was at Kaylee's and we were looking after her little sister who had a friend over. I ended up staying for dinner and by that time Kaylee's dad and step mum had gotten home. So her little step sisters friend had stayed for dinner too and soon after we'd finished her dad came to pick her up. I was leaving at the same time, about to walk home. And Stephen rocked up. Out of no where, this gorgeous man with the kindest brown eyes was just suddenly there. He was the girls dad and was picking her up. Anyway after all the formalities he had ended up offering me a lift home. Which I agreed to, kind of dumb now I think about it. He was a complete stranger really. But by the fourth time of the same thing happening he'd asked me for my number when he'd pulled up in front of my house. I gave it to him and well the rest is history I suppose.'
May took a big breath.

Ria's eyes were wide. 'So you dated a man with a kid?! How much older than you was he?! May what the actual fuck? Why did I not know this?'

'He was 11 years older. He'd had Lilly, the little girl, when he was 23. Could you imagine finding out you're going to be a parent at 22? Thats almost my age now! And I guess no body told you because they wanted to protect you from me and my mistakes' May frowned.

'But how long were you two together?! And was everyone ok with it?! How serious was it?' Ria's questions were only just beginning.

'We were together for just over a year. From February to March. I broke it off because of a few things, one being I was in the last phase of high school and wanted to graduate with high marks. Which didnt really happen I suppose but thats a story for another time. And no, mum and dad were pissed at me. Mum knew I was more emotionally invested in Lilly than I was with Stephen. And dad was just pissed at the idea of a grown man and I being together I guess. Some of my friends understood, others ended our friendships because of it and some just didn't know at all. It was pretty serious Ria. I mean I literally spent weekends and sometimes the entire week at his house, when Lily was home and when she was at her mothers. We even went on holiday together, alone. And we took Lilly away for weekend adventures. People always assumed we were married and Lilly was my daughter, we never would correct their mistakes.'

'Did you... you know?' Ria asked wiggling her eyebrows.

'Ria. We went on holidays to Bali together. Of course we had sex. And a lot of it' May rolled her eyes but Ria choked on her coffee at her bluntness.

'Yuck! That's kinda gross May. He was way older than you!' She laughed a bit but her tone was serious.

'It wasn't gross to me. I mean it sounds a lot more dramatic now than it was at the time. Plus I mean we had fun, we tried a lot of things. Never when Lilly was around of course' She laughed.

'Did you love him?' Ria asked seriously.

It was May's turn to choke on her coffee. For a sixteen year old, Ria was too god damn inquisitive.

'No. Not like I should have. I loved Lilly. And there was Lust for Stephen. But not really the right love. There was a love that felt safe and caring, but not an explosion of fireworks. It wasn't even a best friends becomes partners sort of love. It was a truce for company that we had committed to. Our ideas of our future were very different from each other in the end too. He wanted stability, marriage. To continue the truce. But being with Stephen for me was something cool and different. It made me feel mature when I wasn't, I wasnt ready for that commitment. I wasn't done exploring with other people and I hadnt found myself. I would never be where I am today if I had of stayed. I'd be sitting at home with a primary school step-daughter, taking her to soccer on weekends and cooking my husband dinner when he got home from work on weekdays.' Her statement shocked even her. She was never one to look back into the past often.

'And where is he today?' Ria asked

'With another me, taking Lilly to soccer on the weekends and coming home to dinner cooked by his wife on weekdays.' May shrugged.

》》》

Ok so. Please don't leave negative comments on this. Not only because they'll probably make me cry myself to sleep but because there is a real Stephen and a real Lilly out there somewhere in the world. The only difference is their names are different. Every other part of the story is true, how I met Stephen, the holiday, the ending, his new wife. All of it. The only difference is that the May in this story is stronger than the May in real life. I've shed my share of tears over that man and his little girl, but I don't regret it.

Lots of love, May xx