Moleman's Epic Rap Battles #34: Chris McLean Vs. Vince McMahon

MOLEMAN'S EPIC RAP BATTLES!!!!!!!

VINCE MCMAHON...

...VS...

...CHRIS MCLEAN!!!!!

BEGIN!

Chris McLean:

Today on Total Drama Island-Action-Musical-Whatever,

Watch me make McMahon mincemeat, then off some interns for good measure.

Do what shouldn't be tried at home? You'd best believe that I'm prepared to;

Think you're boss enough to cross me? Well, I triple-dog dare you!

I'm the hottest host this mad, mad, mad, mad world has ever seen;

As tough as Nailz, with words as fiery as your faulty limousine!

I've got full-time invincibility; there's no way I'll be toppled.

How can you expect to Trump McLean when you got beat by Donald?

You'll come in dead-last when you race me, and end up like Team Victory:

A bigger fail than your foray into the football industry!

No chainsaw's in my grasp, and there's no hook strapped to my arm,

But I'm as fierce as any psycho killer; always causing harm!

The Alejandro to your Justin, obsoleting you with tricks galore;

Shake up World Wrestling something worse than when your Owen hit the floor!

You're losing it, old man, and I'll retire you for good:

Entomb you here, achieving what the Undertaker never could.

Vince McMahon:

I'm stepping back into the ring to lay some Raw Smackdown on this crude snob,

And end this match so fast, call it the Wawanakwa Screwjob!

The promotion's patriarch; Authority runs in my family.

Like pineapples in lava, my mere entrance brings calamity!

This boasting host who thinks he's got the most's in for a roast,

'Cause I'm a Federation's father; you're a wannabe Jeff Probst!

I represent a higher power than your whole cast of Canadian idiots;

You've no chance in Hell once Mr. Vince McMahon starts spitting it!

Dropping bigger trauma-bombs than any goth-and-punk relations;

When my superstars show up, it's every teen's elimination!

Haul it down the Dock of Shame, or better yet, straight off a cliff;

I walk the walk with attitude: a god is what you're messing with!

Your lips against my ass is how we'll end it; this I say with confidence:

The thought of this dirtbag defeating me is plain Ridonculous!

I'll skewer you for real, and put you down like Hollis Mason,

When I use your gilded likeness as a weapon; bash your face in!

Chris McLean:

Dock of Shame? Come on; I'll make your ass a human cannonball!

Flush you right down the drain, then take a dump in the confessional!

I'll Hatchet off your balls, then feed 'em to the boys and girls for brunch!