Cuts & Cures

Chapter 2 (iii)

They are who they are.I can't fight them.All that I could do is just follow them.Am I weak?Am I stupid?

"We are coming.... This time..We'll make sure...you will cut....deeper and deeper....".They've said it.I know they will do it.

I'm ready to die. What is my deeds to mom?My death of course.She would be happy if I die.

Death is what I want.But it wasn't granted for all the times I tried.He or she always makes me near to death.But it just didn't work out.

"YA FILTHY BRAT,CAN'T YOU JUST SEE THAT I HAVE ENOUGH BURDEN TO TAKE CARE OF AND NOW I HAD YOU PREGNANT?!!OH FUCK WHOLE LIFE!!"I heard that Father is angry.He is yelling at mom downstairs.

I had enough of him.I don't want him to beat mom.Mom is pregnant.It'll effect the baby.

I went downstairs with my knife and started to stab him over and over until mom stopped me.I knew it wasn't me because I would never had the ability to do that. Even though I did that,I didn't felt any regret.

"Ya unloyal...."Father fainted and mom called the ambulance.I wasn't scared.I was just stress about Father screaming and yelling at mom.

After awhile,the ambulance came and brought Father to the genaral hospital. I stayed at home.In my usual place.My closet.

"Its,,,time ~~~".They want me to stab my heart.I want to do it.I need to.In order to make mom happy.

I ran downstairs. Suddenly I stumbled over my own feet and the knife that I was holding on my hand,stabbed my own neck.Blood spurt out of my neck and mom saw it.

I saw her worried face.But I know she will be happy.Someday she will understand.It's not my fault that I want to be happy. It's THEM.

I need to die.Will I die?Will mom be happy?