Let's Go Home (Hidekane)

1

December 17th
10:33pm

That was when you died, Hide.
Do you remember?
We were in Anteiku, I hadn't seen you for a very long time.
You made me coffee, it wasn't very good but I appreciated the effort.
I felt my heart sink, because it hit me just how much I had missed you.
Despite the bitter cold and fierce battle outside, you still managed to keep smiling at me.
I loved your smile, Hide. It was so beautiful; like rays of summer sun dousing your skin.
But of course, sunshine fades eventually, the same way your smile faded as you clutched your stomach.
It was only at this moment that I noticed the blood pooling at your feet. My heart sank further.

'No...not my Hide...this can't be happening...'

Your legs gave way and you stumbled forward, however I was quick to catch you. You felt warm in my arms, Hide. You were always so warm and full of life. Do you remember? I would always complain that you were too hyper and loud.

I would've traded anything to hear you laugh again in that moment.

You held onto my forearms for support, before looking up at me. I could see the light fading from your pretty brown eyes. Eyes that were always bright and shining, turning dull and lifeless.

'Let's go home, Kaneki' were the last words you said with your shaking voice.

You were not dead yet, but the sound of my sunshine being in pain tore my heart into pieces.
Your body fell limp in my embrace. I held you close, searching for a pulse, a heartbeat.
It was so, so faint. It was faded and delicate, just like you were.

I can't remember how it happened, but Anteiku burst into flames. Scorching fire surrounded us, burning wood covered the shop. But I couldn't take my eyes off of you, how vulnerable you  looked.

That wasn't like you, Hide. You were never vulnerable. It was always you telling me to stay strong, to never let go.

I silently prayed that you'd take your own advice at that moment.

'Let's go home, Hide' I whispered back to you, fighting the lump in my throat. Tears fell down my cheeks and landed on your face, like rain.

You managed a small smile. I could see it pained you, but there was nothing I could do at this point.

There was only one thing I could do.

Take you home.

It was so cold outside. I covered you with a sheet to keep you warm.
I knew it was pointless. You were already dead.
I refused to believe it though.
I couldn't accept the fact that my best friend, my anchor, my sunshine, the person I loved the most, my last piece of humanity was gone.
Burned out like a match, weak like a trampled sunflower.

'You're not dead, you're just sleeping, silly Hide. It's time to wake up now! Wake up and tell me it was just a prank! Of course it's a prank, right?

You're sleeping, right?'

CCG investigators and soldiers watched me while I passed through the streets.
The snow was really pretty, Hide. It reminded me of your pale porcelain skin.
They did nothing to stop me; they were grieving their own losses.
I felt sorry for them too. I'm not the only one who lost a friend today.

I continued to walk. The winter wind blew away the sheet.
I didn't look down at your face though. I didn't dare. It would make the situation real if I did.

I heard a man speaking, probably contacting other investigators. He mentioned the words 'eyepatch' and 'centipede'.

He means me. They were coming for me.

But I didn't care.

I cared about you in my arms, unresponsive and motionless. I cared that I'll never see you smile again. I cared that I'll never hear you laugh again. I cared that I'll never feel your warm embrace again.

I cared that you were gone.

A helicopter flew over us, in the large expanse of sky above. Bright white light engulfed us for a few seconds, before passing over.

My walking came to a halt.
A white haired man with glasses and a brief case stood in my path.
I pleaded with my eyes, begging him to let us pass.

I don't know if he got the message.

I didn't want to fight him, or anyone.

I just wanted to take you home, Hide.