Damaged

Four - Catfish

Her words rang in my head, 'I don't like anyone' -- why was she so guarded? What is so bad about liking people?

I mean I like her.

Do I really though? I've only just met her.

Something about her was driving me crazy. I felt like I needed to see her again.

"Hey earth to Ash" Michael waved a hand in front of my face.

"Oh sorry I'm just-- tired" I lied.

"You ditch us for little miss punk for recording and now you're mentally checking out? What's up with you?" Michael asked, at first accusatory but then it seemed more concerned.

"Its nothing Mike" I sighed.

"Listen, I can already tell that girl is trouble-- you barely just met & she's turning you to mush" he hit my shoulder softly. "We've got work to do buddy, and we need you"

"So much 'work' you're doing when you're going out partying yeah?" I snapped at him, not really sure why, maybe misdirected anger?

"C'mon Ash" Michael was losing his patience, he got up and walked away.

A part of me felt extremely guilty for the shit I was pulling, I mean this is my career. But this is what 'rockstars' do right?

But we are hardly rock stars. We had pretty loyal fans but, not a crazy amount. A good amount. I was often torn, whether I wanted to keep the amount of fans we had, because it was comfortable and nice, or if we really wanted more.

Comfortability can be a dangerous thing though. It keeps you from growing & expanding-- but sometimes it can be good. I guess it depends on the situation.

I couldn't figure out which one it was here.

But I knew the answer.

I wanted to give up my pride and text Aspen. Ask her to chill here at our temporary house.

But I didn't have her number.

I decided to search her name on Facebook. I only had her first name and the general area of LA.

Surprisingly I found her pink haired picture amongst the rest.

I clicked on her account. I only had our band account now so I couldn't add her. I contemplated making a fake account and adding her through that, but I realized that that probably would not end well. And I didn't want my first tv appearance to be on Catfish. I am pretty sure that would kill any growth to my career.

To my surprise she didn't have any privacy settings up-- which was strange for someone like her.

I scrolled through various statuses. Not many pictures though.

Her statuses had a running theme to them though, they were all quite angry or sad. Most of the angry ones stemmed from her job, which she never really specified what exactly her job was.

Come to think of it she didn't mention anything when I was with her either.

This made me curious. Could she be part of some agency that hired girls to be seen with/date celebrities?

I quickly dismissed this ridiculous idea.

For one she wasn't your typical hollywood wannabe model. She wouldn't be hired for a job like that.

Also-- I'm not that big of a celebrity.

I keep getting ahead of myself thinking I'm some great, famous rockstar-- probably because we toured with One Direction- and they sure are famous. More famous than we will ever be.

This made me wonder-- If I was just as famous as them, would Aspen like me more or less?

Although-- I don't know what'd be less then none.

She was not interested in me in the slightest.

I should be out having one night stands every night like my mates, but I'm stuck on this one that wants nothing to do with me.

~~

"Aaaaashton" Calum cooed- I knew what he wanted.

"Get ready Calum, we're going out."