Walruses Have Dreams Too

Basically, The Story!!!

Once upon a time, there was a guy who knew a guy who knew a girl who knew her brother's dog had Ebola. So they went to see the man in the moon. His name was Kim Jong Un. When they got there, Morgan Freeman's voice greeted them. "My name is Morgan Freeman." He said. He was wearing a hot pink rain poncho and Hawaiian swimming shorts. The dog tried to eat his feet, but he floated away into the clouds, which were made of marshmallows. Obama caught him in mid-air and they flew away to their kingdom.

The guy, his name was Barry, decided he didn't give a fuck anymore and went back home. When he got there, Betty White and Ashton Kutcher were making-out on his couch. He screamed and ran away to his friend Nogla's house. Nogla was playing Garry's Mod with Evan, Lui, and Delirious. So Barry joined them and they decided to go and kill the man who created planking.

When they found his house, they broke in and stole all his trophies for his Miss America awards. His name was OOO. They found his mother in the basement with John F. Kennedy's ghostie.

"What is the meaning of life?" The ghostie asked them. 

"Jennifer Aniston's titties!" Delirious cheered.

"No, it's Kim Kardashian's ass." Nogla corrected him.

Hitler and Osama Bin Laden teleported into the room and kidnapped Evan. So they went to save him. Nogla grabbed his unicorn and they flew away into the sunset.

Meanwhile, everyone else just went home because fuck it Evan can get out by himself. So Lui went to find his girlfriend and go to the movies but he instead went on American Idol and won singing in his amazing squeaker squad voice.

"Hey I heard you are a wild one. Ooooooooooooooh. I took your home and be a. HURT ONE!!! Show me how you do. I wanna LALALALALA!!!" He sang.

When Barry went home, Betty White was still there but this time she was just watching an old episode of "The Rifleman."

"I am in this one." Betty told Barry, so he knew everything was okay.

Then Miley Cyrus broke through the wall on her wrecking ball and killed Betty White. Barry went to her funeral and saw Shrek.

"We made love many times." Shrek said. Barry threw up in the casket and ran away.

He found Ashton Kutcher in a barber shop getting a haircut. "Why are you cutting your hair?" Barry asked.

"So I will look like Betty and Miley Cyrus will kill me too." Ashton replied. Then Barry left and found Nogla crying in the street.

"What's wrong Nogla?" Barry asked.

"I was too late. Evan died." Nogla said. So Barry took Nogla out for ice cream. Barry got vanilla. Nogla got chocolate with extra cocaine.

After that, they went to Nogla's house and found the triumphant Lui fucking Nogla's girlfriend. Nogla pulled out a machete and slaughtered them both. Then he and Barry drank their blood.

Just then, Bilbo ran by.

"Where are you off to Bilbo?" Barry asked.

"I'm going on an adventure!" Bilbo said, stopping.

"Where?" Nogla asked.

"To Iowa." Bilbo said.

Just then, Legolas swooped in and shot Bilbo in the face.

"It's okay." He said. "The demon is dead now."

After Legolas left, Barry and Nogla went to the store.

A random woman saw the blood on Nogla's clothes and asked "What happened?"

"I killed my asshole friend for fucking my girl." Nogla told her. The woman screamed and ran away. Nogla looked at Barry and Barry shrugged. Barry grabbed a bottle of apple juice off the shelf and went to the cashier. He recognized the woman. She had short blonde hair, that was cut like really really short kinda like a guy. It was Ellen Degeneres.