summer love ☼

paper

you then averted your attention to riley, and realized something, "what were you doing last night besides sleeping, riley?"

"studio...songs...singing," he mumbled, his eyes still shut.

"at night? how were you able to stay awake?"

he lifted his sleepy head from your shoulder and looked at you, "i mean i tried, but i couldn't stop thinking about you. i even..i, uh, it doesn't matter."

he laid his head back on your shoulder, trying to avoid finishing his answer.

"what, riley, what?"

he let out a quiet groan.

"just tell me, sleepyhead," you joked, taking his face into your hands.

"okay fine," he said jokingly. "day, uh, daydreaming...about you." you found him unable to look into your eyes as he said that, his gaze meeting the floor.

at this point, the smile that grew on your face, became permanent, as you looked into his eyes, desperate for him to look back.

he knew, the moment he'd lay eyes on you, he wouldn't be able to stop. his eyes revealed all that he felt for you, fearing it was too much for you to take in if he looked back.

"riley..." you tried to turn his chin to face you.

you finally caught his gaze, taking note of his eyes rather glossed over...with sleepiness? drowsiness? you couldn't tell. there was something more he wasn't saying.

"look, since i don't know how to tell you, can i show you?"

"show me," your eyes grew hopeful.

he then took you by the hand, leading you down the hallway and into the newly made studio built in their house.

"take a seat," he said gesturing toward the black leather couch on the opposite side of the computer desk.

he then started shuffling the papers on the desk, taking them in his hands as he put a guitar pick between his lips, took a pencil and his guitar in the other hand.

he slid himself over in the desk chair and plopped all the papers beside you on the couch, spreading them out.

as you glanced back at the papers, you could've sworn you saw your name written on one of them, but he quickly took that paper, seemingly catching his eyes too.

his eyebrows furrowed as he read the paper, unfamiliar with the writing or content. he started to rub the back of his neck while reading, increasingly becoming nervous. he read to the end of the paper, his eyes grew wide as he realized something.

"riley, is everything okay?" you say slowly shifting to the edge of the couch, about to go up to him.

he quickly looked back up to you. "oh uh yeah, i think i just lost my lyric paper," he said, running a hand across his face.

"the one you worked on all night?" you say concerned.

"yeah but it doesn't matter now," he said setting the paper down separate from the others, and sliding his chair right in front of you. he placed both of his hands on your knees, before looking into your eyes. "y/n, i just want you to know that..." he paused, "that i fell for you. i know it must've taken me awhile to realize that, that someone might've recognized your worth before i did."

you see, riley tends to give a piece of himself to every girl that's not the one. his heart, his mind, his feelings. a piece of all 3. where do you think he got the inspiration behind his songs? realizing how quickly he allowed them in, he didn't realize how quickly they would back out. but this time, just this time, he took his time with you. slow to fall, but once he did, he fell hard. but before he could act upon it, he was too late.

"what do you mean, ri?" you knew exactly what he meant, but what you didn't know is what brought him to say that. "w-where'd you get that from?" you continued.

"just..." he looked down at his hands on your knees, contemplating what else to say. he looked back up, "just sorry i was so oblivious to it all."

'it? what was it?' you thought. 'what am i not seeing here?' you questioned, still in your thoughts.

you looked into his eyes, now seeing what the gloss of his eyes were caused by — hurt, tears.

"riley, why didn't you tell me how you felt earlier?"

"does it really matter right now, y/n?!" his voice raised, throwing his hands in the air.

"it does matter, why do you always say that?" you couldn't control the crack in your voice at the end.

"guess i'm always good at finding the right people at the wrong time," he put his hands together, clenching the muscles in his fists before he brought them harshly to his face.

it stung. it stung for you to see him like this. you wanted so badly to be there for him, to be the one for him, but you just couldn't be. riley knew, at this moment, it was connor the one for you. but you don't know how he knew, as you eyed that paper suspiciously.

"look, riley," you got up and stood directly in front of him, placing your hands on his face, as they fell to the jawline. "feelings can also grow cold like the winter."

you hoped that last part would ease his frustration, realizing that, as this winter season was coming to an end, maybe feelings for each other would too.

"i know..." he caught on to your gist, "but that doesn't mean i will stop caring about you."

he stood up abruptly and put his arms around you, his head falling to the crook of your shoulder.

you rested your chin at the base of his shoulder as you ease your arms around his back, "me neither."