Kidnapped

Feelings

That night when James and I went to bed, I felt really uncomfortable. There was no way for us to lie next to each other without touching and I was extremely aware of that. I was having cramps and was feeling very aware of my body. The only thing I wanted was a big bowl of chocolate ice-cream and a Leonardo Dicaprio Movie, to make me feel better.

But I only had James. That night, as I lay there feeling sorry for myself, he put his arm around me and held me close to him. No one had ever held me like that before. The feeling of the front of his body being pressed agains the back of mine ... it was wonderful. The warmth of his body slowly put me to sleep and for the first night in a long time, I slept without nightmares. Instead I dreamed of him.

A couple of days past. Maybe five days, maybe a week. I´m not really sure. During that time, me and James becam closer than I had ever thought possible. It was different from anything I had ever experienced before. Back home in Sweden I had had two best friends. My brother and Matilda. The things I couldn´t talk about with Matilda I could talk about with Jonas, and vice versa. 

There was nothing I couldn´t talk about with James however. I ended up telling him about things I had never even told Jonas or Matilda. Maybe it had something to do with everything that we had gone through together. We knew about each other´s worst nightmares, since we were right there next to each other every night. We held each other as we cried in the dark. There is something truly beautiful about being that close to someone.

I wasn´t the only one talking all the time. He talked a lot to me too, about everything. He told me stories from before he bacame an actor and before his dad had died. His dad had been his best friend. He always suported him to fulfill his dreams and James really wished that he had been alive when his dream came true. 

"I look like my dad", he told me once. "But I´ve always been more like my mom. We have a really great relationship, especially after dad died. I take her out on holidays and try to spend as much time with her as I can. Since we lost dad I´ve learned to not take the people close to me for granted."

Then he was quiet for a long time and I started to think that he had fallen asleep. Then he surprised me by taking my hand in his own and looking in to my eyes. "I really wish that he would have met you, Amanda. I know he would have liked you."

I didn´t know what to say. I was really touched by his statement. I just squeezed his hand in mine to show him my appreciation. He understood ... I think.

One day Ginger Guy came down to us and told us to follow him upstairs. Instantly I became nervous. The only time I had been upstairs was when he drove me to that supermarket. I wondered what was going on this time. James noticed how scared I was and he grabbed a hold of my hand. His hand was shaking slightly as I brushed my thumb gently over his knuckles.

Before he opened the door he gave us a black bag each to put over our heads. He also made it very clear that he would shot us if we tried anything, and we made it very clear that we wouldn´t. We put the bags on and started walking, with Ginger Guy holding our arms to lead the way.

At first I tried to remember every turn we made. Left, left, right, left, right, right. But there was no use. I think we were ouside for a while as well, but I´m not sure. We walked for about five or ten minutes before we stoped and Ginger Guy pulled the bags from our heads.

We were standing in front of a door, a big door out of metal. My stomach twisted and turned out of fear of what was about to happen. What was behind that door?

"Take your clothes off" Ginger Guy said and crossed his arms over his chest. I just stared at him with my mouth open. What?

James shook his head determined. "No way, you can´t make us do that, fucking pervert."