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The first thing I was aware of was a constant beeping sound, from somewhere above my head. 

Then I could feel my body and was startled by how numb it felt. Almost as if it weren´t really my body at all. I opened my eyes slowly and let them adjust to the strong light. It was painful at first.

I was in a big, white room, with a lot of machines around my head which were connected to my body. At first I was afraid. I was sure of that Denim Guy had come back for us and that this was his work. I wondered what they planned to do with us. I can´t lie, I actually felt a bit disapointed that I wasn´t dead.

But then I saw my mother. She was sitting in a chair, next to the bed, sleeping. She looked just like I remembered her. Short, blonde hair in curls around her face. A round, soft face that was so similar to my own. In that moment I realized just how much I had missed that face. How much I had missed my mother.

"Mom", I said, but only a whisper came out of my mouth. "Mom", I said again but my voice wouldn´t go higher than a hoarse whisper. This time she was startled though and looked up at me with sleepy eyes.

"Amanda?" she asked in disbelief and then her whole face was lit up with happiness. "Amanda, honey, are you awake?"

She didn´t wait for me to answer. Before I knew it she was sitting next to me on the bed, pulling me up in a hard embrace. My body didn´t feel numb anymore. It really hurt actually. But I didn´t have the heart to tell her that. She buried her face against my neck and cried while she held me tight against her chest. Despite the pain, I couldn´t help but enjoy my mother´s embrace. I had missed the warmth of her hugs so incredible much and having her so close to me again felt like heaven.

Eventually my mom seemed to realize that maybe she was holding me a bit too tight, because she gently lowered me down against the pillows again and worriedly smothed the covers over me.

"I´m so sorry, honey", she said. "How are you feeling? Does it hurt very much? Can I get you something? How about some water, you must be thirsty? I should call your father and tell him that you´re up. And the doctor of course. Wait here, I´ll get the doctor for you ..."

Very slowly, because every movement seemed to hurt my body, I raised my hand and put it over my mom´s. She stoped talking and looked down on my hand, new tears filling her eyes.

"Hi mom", I told her and tried smiling, but it must´ve been a very weak smile. She smiled too, while the tears came streaming down her face. She looked tired and her skin was almost grey. She looked older and I felt a rush of guilt as I understood that I was the cause of all her worries. 

"Hi sweetheart", she said and stroked my face with so much love and affection that I started to cry. I cried for what seemed like forever while my mother held me and rocked me back and forth. I felt such great relief in seeing my mother again. James had been right, it was over now. Wait a minute! James!?

"Where is James?" I whispered softly in her ear when I had calmed down. She put me back against the pillows again and slowly caressed my face.

"He wanted to stay with you, dear", she said. "He wanted to be here when you woke up, but we decided to take you home with us. And his family wanted him to stay with them. He´s still in America, in LA."

So I was back home in Sweden already? I should have been happy I guess, but all I could see was James´s face when he told me that he loved me. When we thought that we would die. I could still feel his soft kisses on my lips. That he was so far away felt so unreal. We had been so close for so long and now we weren´t.

"I´m going to call your father now, Amanda", mom said and stood up from the bed. "I promised I would call the moment you woke up. I´ll be right back."

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