Kneel Before Loki [A Loki Romance]

Last Friday night...

Loki's POV

8 hours before

"...And then Thor was showing off his hammer going 'Oh that's simple. You are all just not worthy.' You know, doing this 'privileged prince of asgard' thingy... Like fuck you barbie, I'm Iron Man! Anyway, five minutes later he turned around and there was this red guy holding the hammer like 'Give it to me, I'm worth it' and Thor's stupid face was just priceless as he took it from him!" Loki snickered, imagining the clueless look on his brother's face. "You know, when you are not trying to subjugate earth,you are a pretty decent fellow", Tony said, patting Loki on the back. "You know, when you are not surviving when I throw you out of a window, you are an entertaining being. For a mortal.", Loki stated. For some reason, both of them laughed so hard, Tony fell to the floor, which made them laugh even harder. "I'm so drunk.", Tony muttered. "Why is the floor moving?" Loki offered him a hand and pulled him up, where he ended up clinging to the other man, causing them both to sway. "I've been asking myself that for quite some time.", Loki babbled back. "The floor is coming nearer!", Tony claimed as they made another acquintance with the hard floor, still laughing like mad. "We are not gonna arrive home like that, like ever.", Tony observed finally. "Don't you have some magical kind of voodoo to zap us home like woooosh?" Loki shot him an amused gaze. "You are envious of my magic, aren't you, mortal man of iron?" "Don't mortal-man-of-iron me." Loki laughed. "No, I can't. My 'zapping' abilities have been taken away from me, just like my immortality, as Odin cast me out." Tony nodded understandingly. "Ah, my father was quite a dickhead too." "He's NOT MY FATHER." "Okay okay, Mr. Daddy Issues...", Tony mocked. Then he turned serious and frowned as a thought struck his alcohol woozy brain. "Oh, I know how we can get home easily. Not for nothing am I called a genius..." Loki shot him a glare. "And by whom exactly would that be?" "New York Times, US Weekly, Men of science, Playboy, The Queen, The gay guy from Iron Man Today-" "Okay, okay.", Loki hastily interrupted, "Now what is this 'genius idea' of yours?" Tony grinned excitedly. "It starts with iron... and ends with suits. Jarvis?" "Yes sir? According to your latest requests, do you want me to do calculations about the amount of alcohol promille in relation to your sexual efficiency and the next possible available mobile toilets?" Loki raised an eyebrow at that, making an irritated face. "Umm, no, I'm fine for the moment. But keep that saved for later. Now activate Iron Baby I and II and set them on us as target." "By 'us', do you mean your way too drunk to control any machine self and the possibly insane, dangerous nordic god next to you?", Jarvis asked sarcastically. "Mhh, you got the point, Jarvis.", Tony nodded. "So, at least this little technic toy of yours pays adequate tribute to the undeniable fact that I am a powerful god.", Loki determined satisfied. "The little technic toy can hear you.", Jarvis threw in. Tony laughed. "He is impressive indeed. Mostly because I invented him." At this moment, two iron suits shot from the sky. "Watch out, you have to make this pose.", Tony explained. "Wait, what?" Loki was still confused by the weird technic of the suits. So it shouldn't have been a big surpris,e as the suits threw the two of them back as they enclosed around them. "This is so odd.", Loki exclaimed as they got up and Tony told Jarvis to let the suits fly them home. "What button is this?" "OH NO, you should never press this button!" Tony threw his hands in the air. "...Or just do it. Oh, great." Their iron suits got into a descent, heading right on the bright sparkling lights of the city. "OHHH NO!", Tony screamed. "Can't you stop it?!", Loki screamed back as they fell to the floor in a mess of suits. "Well since you shut off Jarvis... RATHER NOT!" Loki sighed. "Ah well. The impact can't kill us, can it?" "No, but I'm gonna have to buy a couple of houses later." Loki laughed excitedly, as their speed increased. "You my friend, are mad.", Tony told him as they came nearer to the ground, laughing. "I know you better than you think. I know you like the thrill just as much as I do." Tony frowned. "Possibly." He waved to a few passants staring up to them. Suddenly, his suit cracked. "Oh no no no not nowwAAAARGHH!" The crashing sound of the impact woke people up three towns from there.

" Do you even know who I am? And what exactly are you again?", Tony asked the man in the clearly visible police suit. "Detective Lestrade. Manhattan Police Department. Mr. Stark, you and your companion are arrested for Property damage, Indecent exposure, Trespassing, Nocturnal disturbance, Driving not legally approved machines under alcohol influence, Sexual harassment-" Tony had listened with raised eyebrows, clearly not giving a shit about what the detective said until now. "Wait", he interrupted the annoyed looking detective, "when did we sexually harass somebody?" He looked as if he liked being accused of this criminal offense. "Several older ladies called and contemplated about health issues caused by the both of you. Two of them had serious heart attacks." "Well, nobody told them to attend a male strip club, duh", Tony protested. The detective rolled his eyes. "Anyway. You both are coming with us. You have the right to silence, which you will hopefully take use of during the ride, the right to-" Tony and Loki didn't even listen further to the annoying detective.

"Sir?", Detective Lestrade said repeatedly to Loki exasperated, who shot him a glare. "Your name, please." Loki looked at Tony for help. Tony laughed fakely. "Ah, see there's a bit of a problem... My friend here..." Tony lowered his voice a bit. "He thinks he is some puny, nordic god. Loke or something." "IT'S LOKI AND WHO ARE YOU CALLING PUNY, YOU LITTLE MORTAL?!" Loki stated angrily. Detective Lestrade raised his eyebrows. "See?", Tony shook his head in concern, "It is a really bad case of multiple personality disease. Not even I know his real name." The detective was obviously overly done with them, wiping sweat from his forehead. "Adding insulting an official to the list. Okay. The disturbed god with the ridiculous name and the arrogant wanna-be hero get in the back of the car. Now. I will deal with all of your diseases and ridiculous excuses tomorrow." Tony and Loki were left with no other choice than to enter the police car, if they didn't want to cause more public attention. "Can we at least get a double cell?", Tony asked the detective. "Gods and crazy ass scientists have seperate cells." , he said. "EXCUSE YOU?!" Loki and Tony yelled in unison. The detective turned the radio on to shut them out and whistled along 'Bad' from Michael Jackson. Great. This wouldn't be a long night at all.