GALAXY

Chapter 9

"Do you finally remember me, child?", my aunts voice sang. I was still a bit in shock. I nodded softly. "I thought you were gone", my voice whispered. "I am", she replayed. "But that doesn't mean I left you behind." She talked on a calm tone. A smile appeared on my face. "I always was with you. You only couldn't see me from above." It was giving me a glad feeling to know she didn't leave me alone, all on my own. "It's breaking my heart, seeing you this way." She sounded sad and worried. "I'm sorry", I said softly. "I didn't chose to be this way." "And I know, don't worry, kid." I sighed and sat down on the bench once more. Thoughts flew trough my mind. "Who's this shadow?", I asked afther a minute of silence. "That's something you got to find out for yourself", she replayed. I was thinking which gave me headache. "Why do they all hate me?" "Why do you see everything negative?" I searched for a clear answer on that question. Soon I realised that the past and happenings were the biggest part of te cause. "Please, ignore my questions", I said fast afther that. I wanted to remove my thoughts before I started thinking of the things I wish to forget. But memories already started to flash before my eyes. "I don't want this anymore." I stared down at her grave. It was just so hard. And I knew I wasn't strong enough. "Can this ever change? Will this ever change?" I sighed on my own questions. I looked at the time and I knew I had to go home. I stood up, sang goodbye to the grave and walked home. It was dark outside when I arrived. A yawn escaped my mouth. I was tired and walked upstairs. At my room I let meself fall on the bed. "Why are you still alive?", one of the million voices in my head asked. "You're horrible", another said. I nodded. They were right. I was a horrible child. Tears were falling down. I was a freak, just like everyone always told me. Online, irl... I didn't belong here. Suicide thoughts grew again and I felt the need to bleed again. But I got nothing. I was all on my own. Crying hard in a small ball. I heared my aunt singing to me again. The black cloud appeared and noticed me crying. It took me in the arms and tried to comfort me. I slowely stopped crying, but the thoughts didn't go away.