Hold On To Me ☾cake au

14

Second day of school and Luke would rather drop dead at the entrance than step foot inside. He found himself anticipating the end of every day before it even began which made him not want to wake up at all in the mornings that much more.

Luke sat in his seat at the side of the physics classroom, twisting the strings of his hoodie around with his finger until the late bell rang. He looked toward the back corner of the classroom out of instinct and there Calum sat slouched in his seat, scribbling lazily on the notebook in front of him.

"Good morning, class," Coach Jacobs greeted, making Luke snap his head back to the front of the classroom. "Your work is written on the board. Have it in to me by the end of class."

Luke internally groaned and began completing the problems written on the dry erase board. If this is a science class, why the fuck is there so much math? Luke thought as he began the first problem.

Everyone in the class was talking and neglecting the work, as Luke always did when he and Calum were still each other's worlds. But since Luke had nothing else distracting him anymore, he figured he might as well do something in attempt to raise his GPA. He finished all the work with another forty minutes to spare before class would end. Great.

"Coach Jacobs, can I go the bathroom?" Luke asked, as silently as he could so that only his teacher would hear him.

"Did you finish the work?" Coach Jacobs asked.

"Yes."

"Go."

Luke stood from his chair and left the classroom. As expected, the hallways were completely empty but it was better than sitting alone in a classroom full of people he's known for years but who've never even bothered to learn his first name. He just had to get out of there.

Luke walked into the bathroom and stood with his hands on the sink balancing himself and splashing water on his face. After drying his face, he finally left the bathroom.

As Luke pushed the bathroom door open, a force pulled it from the other side and he was met with the warm brown eyes that he hasn't gotten out of his head for two weeks. For a second, Luke just stared, taking in as much of Calum as he could before he would inevitably have to go back to pretending he wasn't crippling without him. Calum did the same, physically unable to look away too quickly until dropping his vision to the floor.

"I have to- can I get through?" Calum mumbled.

Luke snapped himself out of his trance and stepped back, letting Calum walk passed him into the bathroom. For a split second, Luke felt his hip brush against Calum's and held his breath until he was back in the hallway.

Calum leaned his back against the bathroom wall once Luke left and took a deep breath. "Make it stop," Calum whispered, to no one or nothing in particular. "I can't feel this way, I can't. Please just make it stop." Calum let himself fall to the floor as he tugged at his hair. He pressed his forehead against his knees and breathed deeply until he gained enough composure to go back to class.

•••

Luke dreaded lunchtime. He wanted to not eat and just hide in the library or school garden to wait it out, but since he's gotten so used to eating at lunch because he always had Calum to sit with, he was starving and couldn't wait any longer. Calum, of course, never had that problem since he could literally sit at any table and be accepted.

Luke grabbed a tray and humbly stood in line for the school lunch. He didn't notice he was standing beside Calum until he heard the perfect velvet voice ask the lunch lady for a bottle of water over the counter.

The line continued to move and Calum caught a glimpse of the blonde beside him who was clearly trying to avoid being noticed by him or everyone in general. Calum latched his hands on both sides of his tray as he slid it down the metal bar, occasionally grabbing things to put on it.

The two boys' hands suddenly met in a faint touch, sending electricity through their fingers and making Calum's heart beat out of his chest and goosebumps spread over Luke's arm. Calum looked down at their grazing hands and blinked longly. Luke exhaled a slow breath as the woman behind the register began pestering Calum to pay for his lunch.

The subtle touch of Calum's right hand left Luke's while he payed and went to sit with his usual group of obnoxious airheads. Luke threw his tray away but kept the sub and went to eat his dry sandwich in the school garden.

Luke never understood why no one ever went to the school garden. It's not like it's some big secret; everyone knows it's there and that it's beautiful but no one ever went inside.

He laid on his back on the bench and stared up at the glass ceiling of the greenhouse and thought about everything. Mostly Calum. Also about his mother, and school, but Calum. Mostly Calum.

•••

Luke drove the short distance from the school to his house and locked himself in his bedroom. He threw off his clothes, leaving him in just his underwear as he got under the covers of his bed. He planned to sleep, something he hasn't done in almost two weeks, but as usual, thoughts of Calum flooded his mind.

He thought back to the night Calum came into his room at the beach house. Luke ran his finger tips over his neck, remembering the kissing and sucking along Luke's neck and collarbones while he burned red at Calum's scorching touch. Luke's hand found his lips and he closed his eyes, remembering the way Calum tasted on his tongue, a sensation the blonde could never forget.

Luke could almost feel the tan hands squeezing at his naked sides again as he subconsciously ran his own hand down his chest and stomach. Luke's eyes were sealed shut as he slipped his fingers under the waistband of his underwear and felt himself. He imagined plump lips, kissing every where they could reach like they did that night, Calum's warm breath fanning the tingling skin on Luke's neck, tan hands feeing every bit of exposed flesh Luke had to offer and claiming it as his.

Luke rubbed himself, pumping, and letting soft whimpers escape his swollen, pink lips as he thought of Calum. Soft moans echoed through the quite room as he finally reached his high.

Luke blinked a few times and turned on his side. He couldn't believe he'd just done that. There was so much wrong with touching himself to the thought of Calum, he thought.

He didn't want to like boys, he knew how his parents would feel about it; they might even disown him. The heat on Luke's body was beginning to cool as a tear slipped his eye. He knew why he was crying; he just didn't want to believe it. No, he thought. It's not true.