trees // phan

pantha (36)

1 week later

dan had moved in; the spare bedroom in phil's flat was now his space, for him to decorate as he wanted.
he had put up his posters: patrick stump, billie joe armstrong, alex gaskarth and andy biersack were pinned on the white walls.
the room was bright and cheerful; it didn't match how dan was feeling at all.
you're still my brother.
nate's words hit him hard, as he thought about the letter for the one-thousandth time.
he fought back tears but they escaped his bloodshot and swollen eyes anyway.
these last few nights he had woken up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat and yelling nate's name.
phil had burst through the door and held him as he screamed.
dan knew it had only been a week since the death of nate, but he couldn't ever imagine feeling happiness again.
he wondered why phil hadn't kicked him out yet; he was just a shadow, clouding up phil's light. he didn't move, just sat there, tears rolling down his cheeks, his heart shattering.
it was a monday, and phil knocked hesitantly on dan's bedroom door.
"dan?" he called, gently, "try coming to school, you'll feel better when you breathe fresh air"
dan was too tired to argue and ten minutes later he found himself walking to school with phil.
the trees were bright with life as they walked past them and phil sighed.
"spring is a beautiful season isn't it, dan?" he said.
dan nodded in reply.
"please say something," phil said, quietly, "i miss your voice."
"hi phil," dan said, making phil beam.
dan looked at phil's smile.
how did just him talking make phil so happy?
maybe he should try it more.