trees // phan

penguin (32)

This is Dan talking to Phil, so the you/your in this refers to Phil :)

"it started when my parents got a divorce.
i was only five at the time, but i remember it all so clearly.
my mum left my dad with me and ran off.
she couldn't stand either of us.
i'm sure it hit dad as hard as it hit me.
at first he was kind and patient, but he was never as good as looking after me as mum was; soon he got pissed off at me and i had to look after my self, making my own meals and washing up for myself at the age of five.
nate was my best friend; we did everything together.
to us, we were brothers, blood didn't matter.
but one day, four years later, everything changed.
i was sent home from school because i felt ill, nate walked with me to make sure i could get there fine.
dad was drunk; he started shouting and throwing things.
he said that i had to be strong and man up.
he hit me.
again.
and again.
until i was bleeding.
he said it was for my own good; nate stood there, terrified.
he ran and about five minutes the police came.
nate had got the neighbours to call the police; he did it to protect me.
my dad was taken away and my uncle moved in to look after me.
nate had cried and hugged me, he said it would be okay.
but it wasn't.
his mum found out about me and my dad, and moved nate to another city.
she thought my family was a bad influence.
we tried to keep in contact, but i never heard from him again.
i was alone.
people at school talked about me all the time and without nate i was lost.
even teachers looked at me weird.
my uncle was alright; he was nice, but i knew he didn't really want to be with me.
when I was fifteen, he said he was going on a business trip and would be back in a few days.
i never saw him again.
without him, my parents or Nate I had no one.
no one to call or ask for help.
so i started a new life and enrolled in a new school: your school.
but by the time the new term started, my dad had been in prison for seven years, and had been released.
the first thing he did was come home and find me.
i thought he would be alright, but prison had changed him.
he was quick-tempered and violent. 
when the first day of school started, i had bruises and cuts all over my face; i took to wearing my black jacket so no one would see.
i refused to talk in the hope that i wouldn't get close to anyone; i was scared they'd find out about my dad.
one day after school and another beating, he started talking about nate.
he said nate hated me, and that's why he hadn't contacted me.
i ran and collapsed on the pavement; and that's where you came in.
i wanted to hide from you, but your kindness surprised me, and i had forgotten what it felt like.
just one text from you made me feel important, so the night i tried to kill myself, I felt worthless and unloved.
but then you saved me.
and everything changed.
you had put your own life in danger for mine, and for the first time since nate, i felt worth something.
you made me feel that.
you saved me in more ways than one; i owe you so much more then i can ever give.
thank you, phil lester"