Nothing Like Us

Chapter TwentyOne

(play Life is beautiful by the Icarus account. the song is also on the side>>)

"She left."

"Wait, she just left? ...What!" Louis looked so confused.

"Yep," I began "She told me that we kept hurting and so she thought it wont work for us and she left." I remembered her words.

"Well mate, it's her loss. She made the biggest mistake to leave you." Harry told me.

~~2 months later (Demi's POV)~~

"Bitch, I'm home!"

I heard Dan yell from downstairs. Of course he was probably drunk.

He wasn't always so mean to me before. When I first met him, he was so nice and funny. Such a gentlemen, until we started dating. But I really liked him and I still care about him.

I felt a sharp pain spread through my right cheek, pulling me out of my memories.

"Hurry the fuck up bitch! I'm hungry!" He spit in my face. Dragging me by my hair, he led me down the stairs and to the kitchen. "Make yourself useful and make me dinner."

"Alright, um what do you want babe?"

"I don't know just hurry up! God, your so stupid..." He whispered, making his way over to the sofa with a beer in his hand.

Knowing what's best for me I stopped asking him questions and started to make dinner. When I finished cooking I called him over to eat. I think he'll like it.

"Here you go. I think your going to like it!" I smiled. Accidently tripping over one of his empty beer cans, I knocked over the one he was currently drinking. Oops...

"What the fuck is wrong with you! Look what you did!" He shouted pointing to his wet shirt.

"Oh I-I'm so sorry babe!" I stuttered "Here let me help you!" I tried drying his shirt with a napkin but it didn't work.

He tightly gripped his hands around my wrists and shook me violently. "Your going to pay for that you little cunt!" His eyes dark with anger. Throwing me against the wall with a loud thud.

"This is for being a stupid *punch* ugly *punch* disgusting *punch* slut *punch* who doesn't *punch* know how to do anything right! *punch* Look at you! Your revolting! NO ONE will ever love you because you. are. WORTHLESS! *punch*". The numbness was quickly taking over me as I soon was consumed by the darkness.

******

It was very late once I woke up. My head was pounding and there was no sight of Dan. I remembered his words replaying in my head over and over again.

I felt a tear roll down my bloody and bruised cheek. Of course Dan was right. Drunk people are always honest, right? He just makes me feel like I really am...worthless.

I struggled to stand up, but I managed. Making my way up to my room and locking the door I went inside my bathroom. I just need to calm down.

I stepped into the freezing cold water of my shower with all my clothes left on. A light reflected off of something shiny which I spotted from the corner of my eye. I grabbed it and fought with myself. I haven't done this in years, and I'm not sure if I should do it now.

If I were still with Niall, I wouldn't need to let my pain out this way. He would be there and listen to everything I had to say. He would understand me. He would tell me that I don't need to worry about a thing. He would call me his angel. But I always knew I was no where near perfect. He would always find a way to make me smile. And most of the time he succeeded. I miss him. I haven't even talked to him and it's been two months since I left him. How could I have been so cruel as to leave him in a fucking hospital bed? I'm such a monster, a monster that doesn't deserve love, or a chance at life again. I just fought the first time only because my mom was there to stop me from giving up. But I wont let her... not this time. I've fought for my love for Niall, and I couldn't take it. I've tried to move on with Dan, But I cant take it. My head seems to be constantly spinning. My biggest mistake was leaving behind the one person who knew me and understood me the most. Niall.

I gripped the blade in my hand tightly. It is my fault that I'm like this. How I am today, right now. All beaten and broken, it's all because of me. I caused my own pain. I caused all of this, every single thing... It's all because of me. It's all my fault. My mother's death, it was because of me... My father's drinking, I could have helped him, but I didn't... Niall, I left him and broke his heart. He was too good for me, I didn't deserve him. And all my friends, I left them too. God, I'm such a bitch! Everyone is hurt! They're all hurt because of me! All I do is cause pain! I'm worthless! I'm a worthless piece of shit that doesn't deserve to live! I don't deserve anything! I'm useless, I just waste everyone's time!

I held out my wrist and added another cut to the many scars from the past.

"This one is for being ugly!" I yelled and dragged the blade just under the first cut.

"This one is for being a stupid whore!" Adding another cut, but only this time it was deeper.

"This one is for being a waste of space!" "This one is for destroying other people's lives!" "This one is for being alive!" "THIS ONE IS FOR BEING WORTHLESS!" I continued the assault on my wrists, adding a new line to go with all the fucked up shit I've done.

When I couldn't think of anymore insults towards myself, I was feeling dizzy. Looking down I saw the most horrifying thing ever. The cold water coming down from the shower head was dark red. My wrist's were badly damaged. This life is not worth pushing through, not anymore. The whole world is happy, but me. Everyone will be even happier once I choose to end my life.

The only thing I wish before I leave though, is that Niall find's someone who will love him and not break his heart. Not like I did to him. He didn't deserve that...

I got up from my position in the tub and made my way towards the kitchen. I opened every cabinet and searched for the sharpest knife I could find. Once I found it I froze.

'Do it you fucking bitch! You deserve to DIE! If you don't do it, everyone will hate you more!' A voice in my head told me.

'Slut, when will you learn that NO ONE love's you!' I heard a familiar voice say this time. What? No, it's not him. It cant be Niall. 'All you do is go around hurting innocent people! Like the bitch you are!' I whipped my body around and was met with the body of Niall. What is going on? I'm going crazy, I'm going crazy... 'Look at you! Are you going to do it or what! Do it already, kill yourself!' He shouted.

"What? No...no. You don't mean that... Do you?" I asked him. He looked at me, his eyes bloodshot from crying. Why was he crying? He then took a step closer to me, with a disgusted expression on his face.

'Of course I mean it. You broke my heart! YOU LEFT ME WHEN I LOVED YOU! WHEN I TOLD YOU HOW I FELT AND YOU LEFT ME! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU!? YOU CHANGED, NOW ALL YOU DO IS MAKE ME FEEL LIKE SHIT! LIKE I SHOULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING! I WAS HORRIFIED WHEN I SAW YOU ALMOST GET HIT BY THAT TRUCK! ...but now, now I think that I shouldn't have saved you...' He looked scary. He was so angry and I never witnessed this side of him. And he told me that I should have gotten hit by the truck. I knew it. All I did was hurt people.

'I SHOULDNT HAVE SAVED YOU! JUST DO IT! DO IT, NOW!' He approached me and took the knife from my hand. 'I'll even help you...' Was the last thing he told me before I felt the knife stab my stomach. Oh my god, what did he do, what did I do? He then pulled the knife out again and forced another wound just above the first one. The pain shot through my body.

I didn't have time to comprehend what was going on. I heard the door being kicked open, followed by screaming. It was too loud, it hurt my head. I glanced over at Niall, and I was frozen with shock. He was disappearing... until he was gone. Oh my god... It was me, I did this to myself. Niall was just a hallucination, I did this to myself... I'm killing myself. So this is my breaking point? The point where I've gone completely mad. My wounded body was giving into all the pain. I fell to my knees. It's too late to go back now. I can already feel myself letting go.