"Carpe Diem"

Chapter 2 - Way 'Home'

"Mummy, Mummy..."  I ear a voice calling me. I open my eyes, and see one of my three little boys. I realize now that I was dreaming, dreaming with all of the things that happened in my life so far.

 We are about to embark on a ship. But we are not the only ones. Dozens, or rather hundreds of people, refugees from colonial war. We want a better life. My family deserves that.

The final destiny is Lisbon, for me the closest to heaven that I could ever imagine. All the memories I have from this past, the years I have lived in here, will have to be left behind. A brand new start, it's all we need.  

I have been married with José for eight years now, three little angels have born, but love was something we still didn´t felt for each other.  And we both knew that. Unlike the rest of the people from our generation, we weren't afraid of break some rules. So our intention was as soon as the things were settle down in Lisbon, we would get divorced and then try to find happiness on our own.

We knew enough about war to realize, sooner or later, that situation would end. In fact, the war ended in 1974, but nobody really cared about who won or who lost. Because the truth is that, on both sides, human souls were stolen in vain.

Back to real life, and kept away from my thoughts, my boy Hugo grasps at my leg, I realized then, by looking into his eyes it was time to leave. He was scared.

"C'mon, grab you things, we don´t want bo let anything behind!" I say. 

Marcus and Luís, my older boys were the first ones to get up, indeed they were really excited with this change.

" Can we play football in the ship mum?" Louís asked.

" Of couse not! We will stay in our sets, until we arrive." I said, while i put Hugo in my lap.

"But what if we need to pee?" Marcus asked.

"Well then, I guess you father will find a way to help." I say laughing.

.....

It was the firts time we were in a ship, honestly it was somehow scary. Hugo is still in my lap, now asleep. My big boys are telling horror stories, trying to scary each other, Sometimes I can't stop myself from laughing, they´re unique.

"Are you sure, that´s what you want to do?" A voice makes me look away from my sons. I turn my face to see my mum.

"what?!" I asked

"When we arrive in Lisbon, do you really wnat to take that risk?" 

Owh, know I understand. She´s talking about the divorce.

"Yes mother. I couldn't be more sure of my decision, none of us could. We can´t force ourselves to love someone. That decision belongs to the deepest places in our hearts."

She nod, taking her eyes away from mine, now starring at the extremely small circular window. I hope she will understand.